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At odds with beliefs

Discussion in 'Spiritual Growth & Development' started by Jimmy, Aug 29, 2018.

  1. Jimmy

    Jimmy New Member

    Hey everyone, at this point in my spiritual journey, I am confident to say I believe in some sort of afterlife. I mainly think that the is a universal energy/life source of "God", I don't think Godis a single being or bearded old man, but rather a life source which we all are a part of. I believe in love above all else, the golden rule, I believe we will manifest our own afterlife experience to a point and that there is no hell or Satan, but maybe some dark energies or lost souls, but no eternal hell.

    The problem is my wife follows the Christian way and wishes I would. She follows the bible and very much believes in an eternal hell. I have tried to come to a middle ground, saying I don't really know, and that Jesus is likely a high advanced soul and possibly the son of God, but I don't know and I am ok with that. But there is still a distance between us, I don't go to church because I just don't see the point. Just seeing if anyone has any advice or if anyone has had a similar dilemma. Thanks.
     
    Bill Z likes this.
  2. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    You face a classic dilemma, Jimmy - in my time as a Spiritualist of 30 odd years I've often heard similar stories. Often a medium has a spouse who either doesn't agree, doesn't understand, doesn't want to know or simply rubbishes everything associated with the direction followed.

    I don't give advice but the best I can suggest is to leave your wife to her beliefs but ask that she respects your choice to follow your own path. My view is that it's not worth falling out over and life can go on just fine for both of you if you both can allow the other to be what they want to be. The most difficult issue may be that you've become more flexible, and have moved away from any of the conditioning that mainstream religion imposes whereas your wife hasn't - her beliefs, her faith in traditional values, the conditioning she's experienced, may make it all-but impossible for her to change.

    I understand that you don't do church - neither do I although I have no uncertainty about God. But as you've seen God isn't what's often taught and God is everywhere; churches aren't needed to know what you know.

    I hope you and she won't drift apart over this. Assuming the relationship is generally sound it seems to me that both of you can get on with life together and each of you can follow whatever persuasion most appeals to each of you. Provided she's not antagonistic about your researching more about your own direction you may be able to find that "middle ground" you mentioned. I do hope so....
     
    Bill Z likes this.
  3. Bill Z

    Bill Z Active Member

    Hey Jimmy, we share a lot of the same beliefs and a similar situation. The love of my life was a devout Catholic and when She was healthy attended mass every Sunday but I stopped going years ago and I was blessed in that She was ok with that. On the few times I attended with Her I was able to appreciate the devotion the others there experienced although it wasn't for me and I hope that you and your wife can accept each others belief systems. Jesus (still not sure if He physically existed but the Christ Consciousness to me is very much real) accepted everyone and my belief and wish is that we should also try to do that. To me it sounds like you and your wife are basically on the same page with very minor differences. Those differences can be tough but I believe workable.

    I also do not believe in hell. How can a loving creator condemn His creations?
     
    Kurt likes this.
  4. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Dear Jimmy, my husband of 46 years and I just celebrated another anniversary, and he is STILL a Catholic! Can't miss Mass. Every week. He was married to me throughout my decades of research, and through my coming to understand the truth about Christianity... he was there through all of it. In the beginning he would sometimes patiently tell me I was wrong and misguided and maybe possessed, but things have changed a lot over time... now he essentially says he knows that I'm probably right, but he kinda likes his old religion. Sometimes he even skips a week! So Jimmy, I don't see your problem as a problem. Respect and love one another and talk about other things, and by the time you have been married for almost 50 years it will all be fine!
     
    Nirvana and Kurt like this.
  5. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    Jimmy, I can only share what I currently know and have done. My solution to differences with my mates (including my current fiance) was to read some relationship books and LEARN HOW to reach compromises and strike a balance with the beliefs, attitudes and behaviors of others. There are a lot of practical and do-able ways to live with someone who does not embrace my beliefs, etc. So, without getting into all the details of what I and my partners did, I will just say: go to a library or bookstore and read some relationship books and LEARN HOW to make a relationship work. BTW, both of you will have to follow and practice the techniques and methods these relationship books teach or it will not work. I had to leave my 1st wife due to her unwillingness to meet me half way on ANYTHING. IMO, it takes a lot of training and learning to make a relationship work well and some folks just can't be bothered so, to each their own......... All the techniques and methods I learned and still use start with and stay with LOVE - genuine, deep and real LOVE. When you partner is your very best friend in life, everything becomes easy and FUN.
     
  6. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    Just one more thing I want to mention here: believing vs. knowing.
    I was taught to BELIEVE in; hell, sin, damnation, FEAR of god, Jesus, the bible, etc., etc. but learned later on in life to KNOW a few things and now I KNOW that there is no hell, sin, no person known as god, and, since I have not studied nor translated the original biblical writings, I refuse to believe anything that is written there until I do my own scholarly work. I have "beliefs" but they have no effect upon what I KNOW and come to KNOW from time to time. IMO, "believing" is both childish and moronic. I no longer BELIEVE there is a Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Devil or a judging, punishing god somewhere. On the US dollar it's written "in god we TRUST" and that makes more sense to me that "believing" such and such like hell is real and Jesus is the son of god. I trust that there is a divine force or being somewhere and I trust that supernatural things happen all the time but I still want to KNOW things rather than STUPIDLY believe something that I can't understand or explain. There was a time when most folks believed and were convinced that the earth is FLAT! What happened to that moronic conviction? Truth and science knocked the "flat earth" belief to the ground. Truth let's me KNOW something whereas "beliefs" just keep me stuck in ignorance and STUPIDITY. If someone needs to cling to stupid and mindless beliefs such as: hell and damnation, fine - but don't expect me to accept that nonsense without some kind of proof. My fiance is "christian" but she never tries to push her "beliefs" onto me and I don't push my KNOWLEDGE onto her. We love and respect each other more than our need to have the other think, talk and believe what we each hold dear. We'd rather be HAPPY than RIGHT!
     
  7. Kurt

    Kurt Active Member

    Angsty but truthful.
     
  8. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    Truth will always produce "angst" in those who FEAR the truth thus believing anything is always safer for the ignorant and fearful ones than KNOWING something for certain.
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2018 at 1:32 AM
    Kurt likes this.
  9. Kurt

    Kurt Active Member

    True.
     

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