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Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by shallowdays, Oct 19, 2014.

  1. I don't know what I believe, but if I did believe that all my lives are taking place at the same time, it still wouldn't help me now. In fact, I find that theory rather bleak. I may be living happily with my DH in another universe but since I can't experience it from this body what good is it to me?

    Right now I know I can never hold his hand or hear his laugh again, and that is what matters to me.

    But as Billy Pilgrim would say, so it goes.
     
  2. I can empathize with you. All the philosophical words of wisdom, although well-intentioned, are of little help when you're hurting inside right now.

    With Lovingkindness (metta),
    vic
     
  3. Celera

    Celera Active Member

    This is true -- regardless of one's philosophical or scientific understanding of the nature of time, and even when one fervently believes that we will see our loved ones again in the afterlife -- that is no replacement for having them here, right now, with us. When my best friend passed away, I didn't want to communicate with his spirit or whatever -- I wanted him back.

    Perhaps some people are also comforted by the idea that we are not "really" separated from them, and that the afterlife is actually simultaneous with this life. The time-space continuum may be an illusion, but it's the illusion we're trapped in for the time being. Our only real hope is that maybe we won't be trapped in it forever.
     
  4. bluebird

    bluebird Regular Contributor

    Agreed, Celera. I want my husband with me now, in this life, as he was. If that can't be, then i want to be with him wherever/however he is. I don't necessarily believe that this existence is an illusion, or that we exist in all places at all times, or that we are all "one" or all part of each other. But even if some or all of that is true, it does nothing to make me miss my husband any less (nothing could, except being with him), or to make me feel any better (again, nothing could, short of being with him, or at least knowing that he is ok, that he is himself, and that we will be together again as spouses/lovers/partners/soulmates).
     
  5. Waller

    Waller Banned

    It should point out to you that you have all the choices on which reality you wish to exist. If you do not prefer this one, shift.

    See above.

    If you limit yourself to thinking that there can be no contact with those in other physical and nonphysical realms, then your choice will dictate that you will not be with him. If you choose differently, you may 'create' the reality that you prefer.

    Then allow Billy to follow whatever his belief system dictates to Billy, you can make any [other] choice you desire. You contain all the power to do as you wish.

    So does Billy, btw.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2014
  6. Waller

    Waller Banned

    If you believe that is so, then it is so...for you. For many others who no longer prefer to be separated, that understand the time-space is an illusion that is agreed to by all who live in this dreamworld of physical reality but is, nonetheless, still illusory, there are choices. No entrapments whatsoever, just choices.

    As a facet of the Creator, you would have to believe that the Creator is not all-loving or unconditionally compassionate in order to "entrap" Himself, You, in a physical plane that has no options for You, When You are One with Everything That Is. This makes no sense.
     
  7. Waller

    Waller Banned

    If any individual approaches a group of people, a forum or a live audience, a support group as such, "reading and hoping and looking for answers" is it considered less compassionate to offer the answers so sought vs aligning yourself empathetically with that seeker's pain?

    Or more compassionate?

    Are the persons who offer answers lacking empathy because they do not meet the definition (actions) of others who claim empathy and show it in their way?

    If we live eternally, no beginning, no end, is it empathetic to deny the timelessness of existence? Or is it empathetic to point out this truth and how, now knowing this, it can be integrated into the belief systems of the seeker thereby offering true solace that words cannot begin to match?
     
  8. Carol and Mikey

    Carol and Mikey Golden Hearts

    The loss of a loved one is tough. The unexpected loss of a loved one is really tough. You have no time to mentally prepare for this. The loss of a loved one who passes at an earlier age than what is the norm can really throw you for a loop! It is gut wretching agony! I have experienced all 3. The grief journey for each of these has been different. Even knowing what I know, and having personally experienced the many profound things after my son's passing, I have my moments. We are still human. The physical loss is very difficult. That is what we have in this dimension.
    A personal experience of communication in any form whether it is a sign, dream, vision, medium reading , or whatever, can give the hope that is needed. It is hope that we all need. It is grabbing that lifeline. Knowledge and seeking answers helps, but grief is grief. But having an "experience" and then believing and not doubting what has happened, can go a long way! We need to be open and take hold of the hope lifeline! We also need to understand that everyone grieves differently. It is an individual journey.
    Shallowdays, I am so sorrow for your loss. Stay open to all that is around you. Talk out loud to your loved one. Pay attention. Hope is on its way!
    Carol
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2014
  9. I'm not sure who you are addressing specifically, if anyone. I didn't find your answer to be without compassion. As you say, I am looking and searching for answers.

    I admit I don't really get when you say things like "I can shift realities". If I knew how, I would shift. Can you shift? If you found yourself in the bottom of the abyss and wanted to leave this reality how would you achieve that? I mean this seriously, because you seem to be saying that I created my situation with my belief system. I can believe that I chose this for myself in planning my life ahead of time, or even that free will meant than my husband died before his time, but I don't believe that I'm choosing to live this reality unless all the others are even worse. I also don't know how I or anyone would "shift" anywhere - I feel that for better or worse this life must be played out according to the "time" that we are constrained by while we are here.
     
  10. Yes, I am at a point in my grief where philosophy isn't of much solace (as is anything else, really).

    As an aside, my DH used to do a loving kindness meditation. I honestly have no idea what that meant/means, as I did not meditate with him. It's one of those things that you suddenly realize that you never paid enough attention to and now it's too late.
     

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