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Adventures of a Reluctant Medium

Discussion in 'After-Death Communication' started by reluctantmedium, Nov 7, 2018.

  1. reluctantmedium

    reluctantmedium New Member

    I did not ask for this gift. If it is a gift. This gift keeps me up at night. The latest stunt by them has really complicated my life and instead of it being a great thing I am now researching websites to ask "mediums" that I don't believe in (I love you, I respect you, I think I am this, but I don't believe it. It's complicated.) So I landed here. And I need your help. I need to figure this out and the two people I asked closest to me think I have lost my mind, so I feel all alone. I'm scared if I keep telling them they will tell me I need a prescription of something. I'm getting to the point. So here is the point. I was minding my own business on Friday. Yes, I had contributed to FInd-A-Grave before, and yes, I had had some strange experiences, but I was not a medium. Just strange experiences at the cemetary so I stopped going for a while. But back to Friday. So Friday night I was going to sleep and something or someone or a voice or whatever you call it, impulse, thought machine, etc. told me I was to go to a certain cemetary first thing Saturday morning. No big deal, I like taking photos and posting them to Find-A-Grave. It was a pleasant morning. I got to the cemetary and did not know where to start. So I drove around the entire cemetary until I felt "led" or something to a particular place. Logical place, Far back right corner and I would work my way around eventually. Took about 100 photos or so and felt like that was enough. Happy. Got in my car. Accomplished. Going home to post the photos. No problems. Then I get home and tech problems. Cant post the photos from my phone. Have to transfer to the computer. Oh, too much work. Going to lay down. "Something" makes me get up. Tells me...just do those Armstrong photos (made up a name, it was a foreign name). Trying to argue with it, want to sleep. It is so persistent. Okay, okay, I'll do those three Armstrong photos. Dang. So I get up and have to email myself the darn Armstrong photos. THEN they are sideways. Going to give up. But nooooooo it won't let me give up. So I end up putting them in Powerpoint, straightening them out and individually posting those stupid ridiculous three photos to Find-A-Grave. Wow. Ridiculous. I go back for a nap. Grumpy since I did not get to post all the work I had done. (There is a point here. Wait for it)

    THEN - Sunday Deborah posts a photo. The Armstrong child has died. A 13-year-old committed suicide.
    They are asking for contributions to assist in the arrangements. (THIS IS THE DAY AFTER I WAS COMPELLED TO POST THE ARMSTRONG PHOTOS FROM THE CEMETARY)

    The grief of my own daughter floods me. Grief for the family. How horrible horrible horrible. I see the name over and over. WAS IT ABOUT THIS? (Hang in there, there's more....)

    It is a small town and I am considered an outsider. I don't know the family. Why did this happen to me? I tell my ex-husband and he is completely not interested and repeats all the details, but they are all wrong. I give up.

    I tell a cop friend of mine. He could care less. I am still upset.

    THEN

    Monday Deborah posts the obituary of the Armstrong child. His birth date and my daughter's birth date are the same day. February 13.

    While I have had other unusual things happen regarding being prompted by my deceased daughter to go certain places, etc. I have never had anything like this happen. I am a huge doubter and I don't know that I believe me, but I hope someone believes me and can explain. Or something. Please.
     
  2. Ruby

    Ruby Active Member

    What a story!
     
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  3. reluctantmedium

    reluctantmedium New Member

    Ruby, do the things happen to you?
     
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  4. Ruby

    Ruby Active Member

    Not now, but almost a year ago my son (died of cancer aged 22 in July 2016) suddenly called a long drawn-out "mum" which came after a second of static, in the middle of the afternoon when I was writing Christmas cards. Then, early in February this year, during a snowstorm a sudden perfume filled the air, followed that night by an appearance bedside! Three positions which moved in the blink of an eye. Firstly; standing close to the side of bed; second, leaning over me with one leg in front of another, and the last one; beside the wardrobe mirrors as a dense dark shape which dissolved! It was all happening that night as the hail and wind battered the windows and my electric toothbrush flashed as it was recharging next door. (Every time I recharge now I point the light towards the wall!) I actually spoke in a jokey way to the apparition before I looked at it properly, as I thought it was my husband back a night early due to the weather. And this is the thing: what causes the sense of presence? If a partner was to walk in when you were half asleep you often wouldn't know. But I knew someone was there before I opened my eyes. I was just lying there regretting the fact I'd have to go to the bathroom again and trying to ignore the fact!! (Sorry, too much information). When I saw the huge figure (6ft 5in tall) and took in the beige chinos I was absolutely terrified and stayed completely still until it vanished then turned over and hid under the covers. In the morning, of course, I was thrilled and have been on a high ever since. I took it to be my son's sense of humour; to spook mum on a dark and stormy night. Then I realised that both times I had looked at a tribute web page dedicated to my son both times shortly before the experiences. When writing cards I had looked at it because I was going to quote the address in a card, the second time to see a photo I remembered was on the website as it related to a letter I'd received in the post that morning. Another thing: the chest area was strobing with lots of red/blue colours and in the morning I realised that it was one of the plaid shirts my son would wear as a younger teenager. At university he wore t-shirts all the time, and rejected all the shirts which I said was a waste as they suited him!

    At least my story is not such a puzzle as yours. I absolutely believe you though. Someone out there may have experienced something similar. I have read a couple of cases somewhere of an unrelated person receiving information before family and friends.
     
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  5. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    You indicate you're a reluctant medium but what does 'being a medium' mean to you?
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2018
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  6. reluctantmedium

    reluctantmedium New Member

    Maybe I am not a medium afterall. I do not actively solicit information from the dead. Generally I am minding my own business and something or some entity approaches me. Like in the above case for example. I was minding my own beeswax and thought I would be nice and take photos at the cemetary for others to do their geneology. Then I get focused on 3 family photos. Then that family has a death. Then the death matches my deceased daughter's birth date. I did not actively participate in anything. But there is am. In the middle. So if that is not a medium, what would it be?
     
  7. reluctantmedium

    reluctantmedium New Member

    Ruby, first let me say how sorry I am for you and the loss of your 22-year-old son. I lost a 19-year-old daughter to epilepsy. She still communicates with me, and I have a feeling it was her up to her shenanigans with the cemetary photo episode. The young man who died shared her birth day. She may be out of sight, but she is definitely not out of mind. I have never heard her voice, but she does communicate with me telepathically and even had me locate a piece of jewelry for her. Funny you mention perfume. Some mornings when I wake up I can smell her shampoo next to my right ear. I have never actually seen her, but she does speak to me. So the apparition did not speak to you, but you spoke to it? Did it know you were speaking? I do not know what causes sense of presence, but I have experienced it. My daughter comes across not so much as present, but as a voice. She has also shown me videos before of what she is seeing. When I think of presence I think of a change in temperature of that air.

    So your son's physical presence was scarey to you? it is also interesting to me that you were looking at photos of him before he appeared to you. As if looking at those photos changed your brain or heart in some manner that made his presence easier for both him and you.

    Interesting to me also is that he wore a shirt that you would have liked on him! Too funny! Not only do they get a perfect body and appear just like they were, but they also get to chose from their wardrobe. That is funny to me. My father appeared to be long ago and he looked great! He had on his favorite golf shirt, his golf hat, and his Mexican sandals with socks -- just like he would wear! I recognized him by his clothes! He communicated with me telepathically in the hallway of a hospital in which I worked. He said to me "It is everything I can do to let you see me this way. It's just like the BIble says..you get a perfect body." Then this OTHER voice said to me "Take one step ahead and keep walking. DO NOT TURN AROUND."

    I took off running to the gift shop where a friend of mine worked and told her what happened. I needed someone to verify I was not dreaming.

    So, yes, I absolutely believe that they communicate with us. I think your son did visit and he did incarnate his actual body. However, from what my dad told me I think that physically manifesting back on earth is really hard for them and requires a lot of energy. Whatever that means. Before my dad physically manifested himself to me in the hallway at the hospital, he had visited me a few times while I was in bed before I went to sleep at the foot of my bed. The first time he said to me he was sorry he took so long to let me know he was okay, but it was "tricky moving around without a body". I guess he figured it out though, because about two weeks later is when he appeared to me in the hospital hallway. From what I can tell, when they first cross over it is easier to physically manifest back on earth. I don't know this, but it kind of makes sense to me. I hear from my daughter sporadically. She announced to me she was pregnant. I asked my bishop if that was possible. He said that if she wanted to be pregnant she probably was. She then told me she had twins. I asked her their names. These conversations took place over a period of months. She told me their names were Forrest and Gunther. Later I tried asking her if she was okay, I had not heard from her. She roared back "IM BUSY". I guess with twins...…..

    At least my story is not such a puzzle as yours. I absolutely believe you though. Someone out there may have experienced something similar. I have read a couple of cases somewhere of an unrelated person receiving information before family and friends
     
  8. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    So what is a medium to YOU?
     
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  9. reluctantmedium

    reluctantmedium New Member

    Well, I guess a "medium" to me is a person who can for whatever reason communicate with the deceased through various formats.
     
  10. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    OK
     
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  11. Ruby

    Ruby Active Member


    Thanks for your interesting reply, reluctantmedium. I'm also sorry to hear about your daughter. I was wondering if you could describe what telepathy feels like; what you experience when it's happening. When I heard my son's voice it felt external and I turned my head as I felt it came from behind like a wave, then ended inside my head where it became kind of metallic in tone.

    "Videos of what she is seeing"?? Do tell!

    Yes, scary, as it's cultural to be afraid of ghosts!

    No, couldn't tell if the apparition knew I was speaking.

    Yes, I was looking at photos of him shortly beforehand. This could be interpreted to suggest that what happened was the result of wishful thinking, but I was very used to looking at that tribute page soon after my son's death as his flatmates added to it, and nothing occurred then. My sister filled a book with photos printed from the internet which I didn't want to look at, and nothing happened when I finally did.
    I agree with you about the humour of the clothes appearing. Your father's golf gear sounds exactly what my Dad, who died last year, would wear! I can picture him now!
    It's interesting that your father has appeared but not your daughter, yet, if you could influence it, you'd likely choose your daughter over your father.
    It sounds as if your bishop is unusually open to these things. That's very funny about the twins keeping her busy! When you asked her about it, did you just say it out loud? And did she reply quickly? presumably telepathically, as before.

    Also interesting is the fact that you had the classic bedroom appearance, but also one at your workplace, since people might think the bedroom ones are just a result of dreaming. How strange about taking a step and not turning around. That's pretty scary to me! I'm coming over as a real scaredy-cat here. Maybe you should give in to all this, stop being reluctant and cultivate your gift?!
     
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  12. reluctantmedium

    reluctantmedium New Member

    Here is the thing. I'm not sure it is a good gift. Yes, in a way, but watch. So today the family buried the child who shared the last name which so intrigued me at the cemetary. I would not go to the funeral. Somehow I feel guilty. I did nothing wrong, but somehow this whole event has made me seriously sad. I am sad that bullying made this child feel so horrible he committed suicide and that somehow I was connected before he did this. Like perhaps the angels saw his grief and anticipated his death. And somehow I was close to that. I had no part in it, but yet I was connected to it. That is why I don't "cultivate" my gift. This is not the only event that has happened, there are many. Also, apparently these types of events have happened to my family members ON BOTH SIDES. I apparently had a great aunt who wrote an entire diary on dates. She knew dates of when things were going to happen. She also somehow was involved in a stone fence area. I do not know how the stone fence or big stones affected her abilities, but she was Polish and Russian and somehow used water and stones to forecast the future by dates. The funny thing is my sister can remember every event by its date and to a strange point. I am bothered by what happened at the cemetary and I am bothered at my frozen reaction to it. I did return to the cemetary to take more photos and put them on Find-A-Grave. There is something that draws me to that particular line of volunteering. As far as the "gift" thing -- I am still a very reluctant medium.
     
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  13. Ruby

    Ruby Active Member

    I'm not at all surprised to hear your reluctance and that you feel terrible about the poor child who committed suicide. This is the worst misery ever for that family. It's inevitable that you will feel sad and haunted by it, especially now you've found out it was a suicide through bullying. So horrible that he hadn't any friends on his side. Of course, you're right; you are not to blame for this. Your original message shows how upset you were when it happened on Friday. I hope you're feeling better now. You say you feel connected because you were plagued by the compulsion to post your photos of the family grave, before the child died. Of course you couldn't have known what was about to happen. You didn't know anything about them at all. Maybe go back to your sympathetic bishop gentleman and he could say a prayer or two for the child?
     
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  14. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    So are you really reluctant about being involved in what you are involved in and in the way you are involved in it? If so, what would you prefer?
     
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  15. pandora97

    pandora97 Well-Known Member



    Another reluctant medium...……..
     
  16. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I don't know either the practitioner in the video or the practitioner who started this thread but a so-called 'psychic medium' is simply 'a psychic' in my book, reluctant or otherwise. And psychic awareness/sensitivity alone does not equal mediumship

    I wish I had a buck for every time I've said that over the years..... :confused:
     
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  17. pandora97

    pandora97 Well-Known Member

    This post was in no means a recommendation of any sort.
     
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  18. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I'm assuming you're referring to your posting #16 which I hadn't considered a recommendation anyway. And my remarks relate to any such medium vs. psychic situation.
     
  19. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I've just made time to speed-watch the video and what I saw was a fair bit of clairaudient evidential mediumship, a 'spiritual medium' (as it's often termed in the USA) working on a platform and not just a 'psychic medium' as she was introduced. How reluctant she was at being - or becoming - a medium I couldn't assess.

    In the latter stages of the demonstration, the Q&A section, she was using psychic reading and counseling for at least some of the time.

    Overall it's an interesting and helpful example of how an evidential medium may work in a public forum. :)
     
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  20. pandora97

    pandora97 Well-Known Member

    I found it interesting. But then since I'm so new at this almost everything is interesting!:D Thanks mac, for taking the time to view the video and offer your assessment.:)
     
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