1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Afterlife Forums is an online, interactive community designed to give seekers direct access to prominent researchers, to afterlife literature, and to one another in order to foster both spiritual growth and public interest in life after death.

A sad and worrying dream

Discussion in 'After-Death Communication' started by Maria, Sep 24, 2017.

  1. Maria

    Maria Member

    My partner Peter died in January, and I am going through intense grief. Shortly after he died, I had a symbolic dream where I sensed he was standing behind me when suddenly I noticed a plane flying overhead was veering towards the ground. It then crashed and burst into flames. I was horrified thinking about the passengers inside, when I then noticed a man wearing spectacles rising from the plane wreck and waking away unscathed. I immediately recognized that it was Peter, and afterwards felt very positive that he sent me this dream to assure me that he had survived death.

    Since then, I have had very few lucid dreams about him until last week. I dreamt then, that he told me that he had just met a girl from his hometown that he would be moving forward with, and even showed me her photograph. I can still visualize her as someone with short blonde hair standing outside a house. I begged him in the dream not to leave me, but cannot remember how the dream ended. I woke up feeling very hurt and I have been unable to stop thinking about the dream. Since Peter died, I have been yearning to speak and see him, and hoped that it would not be too long until I pass over to be with him. (In fact there have been times when I felt suicidal, but what has held me back is the knowledge that there might a karmic/spiritual penalty where I would have to re-live the balance of my aborted destiny with the same pain, in another incarnation).

    I now feel doubly bereaved. First there is Peter’s death and having to adapt to such a final separation, but I thought we would always be close in spirit, and that he is waiting for me to join him some day. Now however, there is the additional agony that he has been "unfaithful", and has found a new relationship in the spirit world. I would be grateful for your advice/comments about this dream, and my questions are, 1. Why did he have to tell me about this girl - after all, I don't know what else he is doing in the afterlife? 2. Did he come in to my dream to ask me to let him go, and move on with my own life? 3. Could the girl in the photograph be a member of the soul group he is meant to be with in the afterlife, and someone from one of his past lives?
  2. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    It may just be a dream. I have had dreams, since my husband died, that he was alive and that he was cheating on me or I was cheating on him, or that he was leaving me or that I was leaving him, none of which ever did happen or ever would have happened. I know that it is just my subconscious trying to make sense of this hell, trying to figure out where my husband has gone, and why. It is very possible that your dream involving the blonde woman was just your subconscious doing the same thing.

    If it was not, then it could have meant any number of things. If your husband really did visit and say that he would be "moving forward" with the blonde woman, that doesn't necessarily mean in a romantic/sexual/partnership way. She could be his friend, or if there is anything to the idea of "soul groups" then perhaps she is a member of his soul group.

    Regardless -- you know your husband better than anyone, so no one here can know better than you what the dream may mean.
    Goldie likes this.
  3. Maria

    Maria Member

    Thank you for your reply Bluebird. After reading another topic on ALF entitled “Signs and Messages from the Other Side”, I noted a question arose about whether feelings change after someone transitions, and if our loved ones still miss us. I agree with what was said that they cannot feel the pain of loss that those left behind experience as they can visit us any time they wish. I am feeling very insecure since that dream, and the confidence of my perceptions about the afterlife have changed in that I thought Peter would be waiting for me to cross over some day. Again, if it was a visitation dream, was it necessary to tell me that he was moving forward with another female (which as Bluebird said, may be a member of his soul group), as surely he must know that this would hurt. I know that when souls go to the spirit world after their life review, they eventually are matched with their soul groups. I have been struggling with my grief, and waiting to receive bereavement counselling. This dream has really set me back further in my depression as I feel an even greater separation from Peter than before. And even if this woman is “a friend” as Bluebird suggested, I feel a change has taken place in my relationship with Peter.

    I will gladly welcome further comments and advice.
  4. Widdershins3

    Widdershins3 Active Member

    It's sad that your grief has been compounded by the dream and I have to wonder why a crossed-over soul would burden you with information like that. Perhaps it really was "just a dream" conjured up by your mind as it struggles to cope with this terrible loss. I've had many dreams of my son since his death and all had what I think of as "dream-like" elements. But the one actual visitation I had contained none of those weird things at all--it was like any Real World visit would have been. Was there anything in the disturbing dream that was illogical or out-of-place?
  5. Maria

    Maria Member

    Thank you Widdershins 3 for your advice. I feel it was quite cruel to have this revealed in a dream as I have been deeply mourning Peter’s death every day since he passed. I would like to think it was just an anxious dream, but it was so lucid, and I can still clearly see the photograph of the girl. How did you distinguish the true visitation dream of your son from the ones you consider just dreams? If I had experienced a lot of “silly” dreams since Peter died, I might include this among them, but they have been so few dreams about him. I have been hoping for a happier dream to replace the worrying one, (even asked Peter to do this), but there has been nothing. I keep thinking why did he have to tell me this, and could the girl a member of his soul group? Will I see him now when I transition, or will he be with this girl on a plane I will be unable to access? It also occurred to me last night that the dream could also indicate that he is reincarnating with this girl. As you said Widdershins 3, it has compounded my grief, and I feel very hurt. I am considering asking a medium, but maybe it is naïve to think that a medium could link with Peter to explain the dream.
  6. Widdershins3

    Widdershins3 Active Member

    Sorry to be so long in replying--busy, rushing-around week, but I kept thinking about your situation. It puzzles me, but I can't think of a way to clarify it for certain without a medium's help. And then the problem becomes finding and affording a truly gifted one.

    From what I've read about reincarnation, I think he will be there to meet you when you cross over, because not all of any soul incarnates in any given lifetime and the portion that you knew and loved will most likely stay on the other side for a long time. Some mediums have said they persist forever, but I have no way of proving that one way or another. My personal guess is that when the soul is ready to move on to higher planes, the soul fragments may go along, but I don't know that and I'm open to further information. I have a vague memory of that being discussed in the Billy Fingers book...?

    The thing about my visitation dream visit with my son that immediately distinguished it from ordinary dreams was it's vividness and reality--the absence of weird dream-like components. And now, 35 years later, it remains as clear and compelling as it was then, unlike all other dreams I had then (or since, actually). But since it's a qualitative difference, it's very difficult to tell when it's another person's experience. I think that in your place I would go on asking for clarification. I find it almost impossible to imagine that someone who loved you would hurt you so unnecessarily or let that misunderstanding stand if they could correct it. We have no idea how hard it is for each individual discarnate to make contact with us and the ability seems to vary quite a bit, so don't give up!
  7. Maria

    Maria Member

    Thanks for your further comments Widdershins 3. I am still puzzled by the dream and have been hoping every time I go to sleep that it will be replaced by a happier one, but alas not so far. Yes, I also think that even in someone reincarnates, a part of their soul remains with their Higher Self. I furthermore feel that it may be too soon for Peter to reincarnate, but then nothing can really be defined when viewing the afterlife from our perspective. I will ask a medium for his/her opinion, it is a case for finding a genuine one. It is sad that we have to rely on mediums to connect with our loved ones. I recently read an article about the development of “soul phones” which may be available in the near future, and it would be wonderful to be able telephone them as we once could. It makes you realise how much we took it for granted to be able contact them whenever we wished when they were alive.
  8. enby

    enby New Member

    not gonna touch the reincarnation stuff, just gonna echo bluebird here, I've had dreams where my passed on cat Anigel has made an appearance, but looking back i don't think they've been visitations and also nothing significant happened. expect i remember vaguely in the last one i was not being nice to her. i don't rly remember exactly how...but that was disturbing

    also my mum told me that my uncle thru some form of communication(I'm not sure if dreams were involved), he learned alledgly that his passed on wife(? I think. they were partners regardless) had allegedly "moved on" with some random passed on guy

    i don't remember all the details, but i wish i could talk to him about it and raise what i think is some obnoxious negative entity/demon messing with him

    they can pretend to be your loved one, i'm aware of stories of them mimicking living and passed on ppl, whether just hearing a voice or totally taking on their appearance

    so yeah Maria, just astral adventures being ridiculous,or could be some actual negative entity interfering. but i'd guess the former

    we have to be critical of anything involving passed on ppl/animals and rly take a look at what makes sense and that def includes what you know about the passed on loved one.

    so i mean honestly in the case of my uncle, why would his partner do that. it seems very ridiculous and mean-spirited. so questioning it is def in order
  9. Rassie

    Rassie Member

    I have been follow the works of Robert Moss, who writes extensively on dreams.

    First, he states the dreams are very individualistic. No one can interpret it but you. And from the subject matter that is certainly self-evident.

    He said to go with you gut feeling when you first recall the dream. If it is upsetting it is for a reason...your own, your love one, or the universe.

    One thing he suggested, and I have tried with success, is Walk A Dream. If you want clarification on a dream ask the Universe to supply the answer during the day. Then be aware of signs and synchronicities.

    It is really cool! You will notice a theme playing out through your day. And once you relive the day and the events you will see how it applied to your dream! Hint...carry a small notepad. Sometimes the signs come too fast and too many!
  10. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    This is all great advice, Rassie, and welcome to AfterlifeForums! Nearly all dreams are - as you say - highly personal and very symbolic. It's wonderful that you have found a way to use these facts!
  11. Rassie

    Rassie Member

    Thank you, Roberta. Currently, I am reading Moss’s book, The Three Only Things. Thoroughly enjoying it. And looking forward to new discoveries. The Universe has played some wonderful games with me, using the author’s strategies. Sidewalk Oracle is an excellent book.

    Hope the symposium was successful! And that there will be another planned for next year.
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2017
  12. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    I'd recommend visiting a Medium to have a talk with Peter.
    Based upon my seven decades of intensive research, what my wife tells me and common sense, I am confident that…a Medium can help you find the answers to that question. IMO, you need more than a dream to understand what Peter's new afterlife is like and all about.

    Based upon my seven decades of intensive research, what my wife tells me and common sense, I am confident that…Peter was indeed telling you to move on with your own life in this plane and allow him to move on with his new life in the spirit plane.

    Based upon my seven decades of intensive research, what my wife tells me and common sense, I am confident that…the answer to #3 is - yes and yes. We are all intimately connected at the spiritual level so one could say there is only one, universal soul group which is sharing all so-called lives - past present and future. There is only ONE life/being/essence/you/me/it.
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2017
  13. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    Based upon my seven decades of intensive research, what my wife tells me and common sense, I am confident that…those in the afterlife DO FEEL the pain of loss but their reality is much different than our physical reality so they do not suffer as much as we do in the earth plane. Peter and many more we be there to greet and welcome you when it's your time to cross over. I'd recommend seeing a Medium to repair any negative changes in your relationship with Peter and gain a more meaningful understanding of his apparent attachment to another female in the afterlife. Their reality is vastly different from the earthly plane so you would need to understand what their life is like over there as compared to ours over here. Bereavement counseling and a visit with a Medium could help both you and Peter, IMO.
    good luck
  14. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    I had many, many "dreams" involving Irene after she crossed over and also several visits to local Mediums. The visits to Mediums provided way better, clearer and more direct information and contact with Irene than any of those mysterious and sometimes disturbing dreams. Of the two: dreams or visits to Mediums, the Mediums did me more good and gave me more hope and encouragement than any dream ever did plus, the dreams could not be questioned or examined as was possible at the Medium sittings where I was in direct contact with Irene - IN PERSON. A good Medium can help you speak directly with and to Peter and get your questions answered directly from him - in person. That's been my experience so far.

    Several of the Mediums I visited recommended that I get some psychic lessons or training to have my own, one to one communications with Irene. It is said that all of us have psychic abilities but very few of us develop or perfect them. I have found "genuine" mediums at Spiritualist Churches. Google that in your area.
    good luck
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2017
  15. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member


    Have you had any more dreams involving your husband?
  16. Maria

    Maria Member

    I was hoping to have a happier dream to replace the one mentioned here Bluebird, but unfortunately I have not had dreampt of Peter since. I am trying not to think too deeply about it, and hopefully it was not a visitation dream but some subconscious anxiety that created that visualisation.
  17. Bill Z

    Bill Z Active Member

    Maria I am sorry about the pain this is causing you. I can only offer what my love has told me since Her death. I also had a troubling dream. She explained that some of my dreams and thoughts are my ego, or whatever, trying to compensate for my lack of understanding of death and they are not from Her.
    Also I know in my case that She has made a successful transition. There is no grief there and She told me She is no longer human and that my still human understanding might cloud the reality of the situation. There is only love there She told me so She can not hurt me. So maybe Peter's dreams are from your ego or maybe he is trying to tell you he is experiencing joy and perhaps wants you to be a part of it. I hope this makes sense.
  18. Maria

    Maria Member

    Thanks everyone for your kind and helpful comments. I am glad I joined ALF, as struggling with grief at present I feel that I am among people who can give me hope that I will see Peter again, and understand about after death communications.

    I am a little concerned about this jimrich so can you explain what could cause a negative change in my relationship? I agree it is very difficult to imagine what life is like in the spirit world, and I will mention the dream to a medium.

    Thank you for lovely reply Bill Zola, and I would love to hear more about your contact with your wife/girlfriend. I can imagine that Peter is surrounded by love wherever he is, and it would give me great joy too, to know that he is happy.
  19. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    Well I hope you have some good dreams with him, visitation or not. {{{{{hugs}}}}}
  20. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    NO LOVE IS GENERIC. Period. Exclamation point.

    I am sorry for everyone who believes what you do about humanity, dear Goldie, but believe what you like if it comforts you! I ask only that people who care at all for the elevation of human consciousness altogether disregard this whole line of thinking. How is it possible for anyone to be so incredibly self-absorbed as to want to deny post-death happiness to those we love? As the King of Siam so memorably said, it is indeed a puzzlement.

Share This Page