Anyone else feeling closer since loved one passed on?

[TheEscapist]

Ever since my friend Dave passed on, I've felt closer to him in my heart which at first to me seemed kinda odd. Before he died, we weren't on speaking terms for the last two months preceding his death. At first this made me feel extreme guilt. But after some signs from him, the guilt has subsided and I feel at peace. I also feel closer to him, and it's sort of hard to explain. Sometimes I'll find myself thinking of him in passing, and next thing I know a conversation will start going in my head without me really thinking about it, between us. Or I'll get the urge to go listen to a specific song out of the blue. And so I'll listen to it, and it'll say in the lyrics something that reminds me of what he would've said. I'll In a way it's odd since I wasn't expecting this. But it's a good surprise. Anyone else feel this way?

[vic smyth]

I can't say that I've ever experienced this except once when my grandfather passed on. But it seems like what you are having is a genuine after death communication (ADC) with him. The release of guilt and the feelings of peace are probably helpful to both of you. Cherish this communication, it's a gift. And thank-you for sharing your story.


With Lovingkindness (metta),
vic

[orangeysky]

Ever since my friend Dave passed on, I've felt closer to him in my heart which at first to me seemed kinda odd. Before he died, we weren't on speaking terms for the last two months preceding his death. At first this made me feel extreme guilt. But after some signs from him, the guilt has subsided and I feel at peace. I also feel closer to him, and it's sort of hard to explain. Sometimes I'll find myself thinking of him in passing, and next thing I know a conversation will start going in my head without me really thinking about it, between us. Or I'll get the urge to go listen to a specific song out of the blue. And so I'll listen to it, and it'll say in the lyrics something that reminds me of what he would've said. I'll In a way it's odd since I wasn't expecting this. But it's a good surprise. Anyone else feel this way?

Other than the music I felt the same when my mom "graduated" in November, 2011. I cannot believe it's almost been a year. Yes, I absolutely felt closer to my mom after her passing. Almost immediately I felt the peace and had the same experience you mention about having conversations in your head without really thinking about it.

I never felt any guilt or anger with anyone. The pain is still there and I miss her physical presence more than I could have ever imagined but it was like the fog lifted, it was my awakening. She most certainly led me here to this forum and continues to be with me when I need her to keep me moving forward when life gets tough. The signs are no longer as frequent as I'd like for them to be but I have to let her move on and grow, right?

My apologies, this isn't about me and I could go on and on so...thank you, Escapist, thank you for sharing your story.

[Bella]

Yes, thank you for sharing. I'm intrigued by this thread. Do you attribute the closeness to the lack of guilt or anger?

[orangeysky]

Bella, I personally don't attribute the closeness with my Mother due to the lack of guilt or anger. Guilt and anger could have consumed me. Guilt of not being there when she passed, her calling me at noon that day, telling me she didn't feel well...I could have/should have went up there. I could go on and on with 43 years of guilt over shoulda/coulda/woulda's. I could have let the anger of the medical negligence that led to her passing consume me. It would take days to post all of the what if's, should have done this differently, said this, said that...on and on but it did not happen this way for me. Note that this is unusual for me as I tend to do the what if, should have, could have said this or that in every single other aspect of my life but this was different.

After the initial shock, confusion, overwhelming hell I felt set in and I came back home that evening I felt her, knew she was with me. I don't care what anyone says, explain it away all they want but I knew, know in my soul that my Mother was with me and had this overwhelming sense of peace and love. It was an amazing feeling of pure love and peace, Bella. Any doubts I had prior to her passing were completely gone. I may not know all the answers or be able to provide all the evidence that so many others here can provide but I have all the knowing and evidence I need.

[Bella]

Orangesky,
It is amazing and wonderful that, while you tend to do the 'shoula/woulda/couldas', you did not do so. I have always done this in the past, and continue to do so. Your posts are proof that, as Carol and Roberta and others on this forum have told me many times, letting go of anger and guilt, brings the person you lost in physical form closer than ever in spirit. Of course you are experiencing a powerful form of after death communication. I had felt this overwhelming feeling of pure love and peace coming from my hubby in the beginning, perhaps because I was in shock and doing better than I am now that reality has sunk in. Orangesky, thank you so much for explaining this. It made my day.

[Greystone]

Thanks for this thread Escapist. Some of the replies have certainly "hit home" with me. I lost someone I used to be close to 40 years ago (as a matter of fact, it was 23 years ago today since she passed). Probably no coincidence that I saw this thread today. We had been engaged but I was way too young and foolishly ruined our relationship . Anyway, we lost touch and I always wanted to look her up one day and apologize. That never happened. About 2 years ago' totally out of the blue, I had a dream about her (Thats actually when I learned she was physically gone) and ever since then have had signs every so often that she's around and ok. I made my apologies and finally dealt with those issues and as a result have an amazing feeling of connection with her. It is a surprisingly warm feeling. Like Orangesky says, they try to explain it all away, but I'm hanging on to what I feel.

[orangeysky]

((((HUGS)))) to all of you. Bella, thank you for your comment. You made my day, dear friend!

[TheEscapist]

Thanks for all of the responses everyone, it's nice to hear other people's experiences.

Greystone your story really hit home for me though. Dave and I dated about 4 years ago when we were both 19 and I was madly in love with him but foolish as well. I ruined our relationship and him and I broke up. I moved on in life after grieving over the loss of our relationship for about 6 months or so. I found my boyfriend whom I'm with now, but Dave and I still kept in touch on and off. In the time following our breakup and preceding his death, I realized that I loved him still and always would. He wasn't my first love or anything, but he was one of my soulmates and the love I have for him hit me to the core of my being.

I figured out that he still loved me as well, even up until his death. He never recovered from our breakup, and I felt guilty about that as well as for the fact that I couldn't go back to him after things ended between us. Before his death I had a dream that he gave me a small book about his life while just walking by me. I was sitting down and he dropped it on my lap. When I opened it up I read up until the point that he joined the military, and then it was blank after that page. That was a year ago, and after that dream I knew he would die soon. Everyone told me he would be ok, yada yada ya. But I knew inside that he was going to die. I didn't know exactly when or how, but I knew it was coming. Unfortunately I was right and he did die at the age of 23.

I'm happy you have signs of your old love to help you. I think when people cross over, and they realize that we still feel guilt about something that happened, while they know in the grand scheme of things it's no big deal. They try to help us out while we're still stuck on Earth. Hold on to that warm feeling, and know that it isn't your imagination, but her sending you love and letting you know she's still there for you even if you can't see her anymore. As someone once told me, the bond between two people becomes stronger after one crosses over, because all the obstacles of being human are gone for the crossed over individual. And so there isn't as much resistance as there was before between the two people. Just something else to think about.

[jenniechan]

Sometimes I also feel the presence of my friend John. Nice thread TheEscapist.