16 with severe death anxiety?

[Eli]

Oh jeez, where to start? I've always been kind of a pessimist, I've thought about death even as a young child.
I was born and raised into a very religious family, and recently, for whatever reason, I've been contemplating death like no tomorrow (pun intended?)
Anyway, I get gripped with this fear of helplessness and depression when I think that death is just merely about "oblivion", and it scares me to pieces. I know I would eventually come to terms with it, or at least relax enough to the point where I can continue living life without constantly worrying, but I find it even more worrying for people like my father, an extreme introvert who sits at the computer all day who, by my definition, does not really go about "living life". I can't imagine that after he dies it would be oblivion for him- him who didn't have many joys as the average human being. It's sad.
Well, in my personal belief, I believe that after death, there is only oblivion. I have believed in rotating conscious minds between human bodies, but recently, my silly little brain has been adapting a "100% scientific proof, if there's no proof, it doesn't exist." type of notion, and I must admit, reading this site has certainly given me hope.
I've talked to my brother about my grievances with death, and he points me toward religion. However, religion is not my thing, requiring serious commitments (I adore masturbating, thank you very much) and most religions didn't really exist until about 2000-3000 years ago. My main issue with religion is actually with a history course I took a while ago. See, the thing is, back then, people couldn't explain things. Like why the sun rose every day or wind. So they made a religion for it. These days we simply classify these things as "myths", however, thousands of years ago, this is what people genuinely believed.
I adore reading about the summerlands, although I'm not 100% sure about all the rules toward it...
There are certainly supernatural things in our time, but what if we are following the course of our ancestors and merely attempting to explain things away with spiritual beliefs? I admit, having taking a biology course with an evolutionary unit, the chances of humans being created in terms of way above average is extraordinarily slim.
My main issue, I would have to say with consciousness being transferable among human bodies is this: A few thousand years ago there were only a handful of human beings on this earth. Can new consciousness just be created? Is there no supernatural being, just our souls?

I guess the thing that has me skeptical about this whole situation, is the fact that on a day that I was very nervous, and very anxious, as I was about to awaken from sleep (in a half sleep/half awake kind of phase) I heard some kind of voice telling me "When people die, they have 60 seconds to reflect upon their past choices..." along with a picture similar to a type of alarm clock.... I'm not quite sure what to make of this, but regardless, I thank you all for taking the time to read this and to help me out.

[Fasaga]

Hi Eli and welcome to the Afterlife Forum.

Wow, where to start. You've obviously done alot of thinking on the subject for such a young age. Have you heard the saying "Don't Worry, Be Happy", that just about sums it up. There is extrordinary evidence and so many genuine validations and as Roberta will confirm, 2 Centuries of Afterlife Evidence that cannot be denied - we live on after shedding our physical shell. As you peruse this site and read the post you will see - even the skeptics that frequent here are often stopped in their tracks.

The voice you heard and the vision you had could well be a communication - the Life Review is something taken as a given here and a very important step in crossing over - it deals with forgiveness of both yourself and others for what transpired in your life and a vehicle for spiritual growth.

Don't be too harsh on your Dad, his time on the computer is something that may give him great pleasure, relaxation or just a way to zone out of every day stresses - it is probably just something he needs to go through at the moment, maybe you could try and find things that can give him a similar release away from the computer and still gives him an escape from the daily gring we are all burdened with.

I also have a 16 year old daughter (Elly) and I also spend alot of time on the computer as I predominantly work from home, and my best form of escape is to spend time with her and our horses, unfortunately that time never seems long enough.

I wish you well with your search, we are all on a path of enlightenment. Your comments on Religion are as good as any, so many things have been misdocumented or just plain fabricated for whatever the motivation was at the time and cannot be used as a guide book to life, although most concepts for a happy, healthy, socially moral and ethical existance are sound. And don't worry about the "lake of fire" or "eternal damnation" as these really were fabrications to keep everyone in line - the only thing any of us needs to be concerned with is that we can forgive ourselves our shortcomings and forgive those who trespass against us, where have I heard that before?

This will be an exciting time of revelation for you as you read, research, lean and come to your own realisations and conclussions.

I'm happy you have found your way here.

[Roberta Grimes]

Welcome, dear Eli! Thank you for such a wonderful set of questions - I think you speak for many people your age, starting to really expand their minds beyond childhood. I will try to answer each of your points as best I can. If I skip any, or if what I say seems inadequate, please re-ask the question. Here goes:

1) First contemplating death in our teen years is normal. The whole notion of death is simply not real in childhood - I see that over again in my grandchildren (the oldest is ten). Young children seem not to be able to think in terms of actually dying - for good and forever! - and my guess is that is a protective mechanism (although we also have trouble imagining that things were happening and real before we were born). So when we first realize (at about your age) that one day we will die, and we can't help starting to think about what that means, it can hit us hard. To contemplate oblivion when your life has barely begun can be unbearable. What you are going through is perfectly normal for your age, dear friend, and we all get through it and find peace - I hope knowing that helps a little!

2) Modern religions are of little help. There, I've said it. Christianity as it is practiced in mainstream churches is fundamentally fear-based ("you are sinful and God will judge you - pick our denomination or fry in hell"), which only makes us fear death more. If you are a Christian, read just the four Gospels, dear Eli - listen to Jesus. Forget the rest of the whole religion which sadly is named after Jesus but not based in Jesus. If you are a Jew, remember that Jesus lived His earth-life as an observant Jew and the words that He spoke were meant for Jews so you can read just the Gospels and hear Him speak to you again.

3) We can prove that you are an eternal being. The fact that modern mainstream science also is of little help takes nothing from the fact that we have nearly 200 years of abundant and consistent afterlife evidence, and the past hundred years of quantum physics experiments and consciousness research fits with it and explains it perfectly. To the extent that anything on earth can be proven, your own eternal nature can be proven. It would be nice if modern science were more than just another belief-system, but for the time being that is what it remains. Which means that you will have to put it together for yourself. But it is all there, dear friend!

4) We are all one being. Consciousness is all that exists. All the rest of what we believe to be real is basically a thought created by consciousness. Fortunately, our minds are part of consciousness (or Mind), which means that our minds are real - but since they are part of a single consciousness, we are not separate. We are one, beloved friend. So, to answer what you say is your "main issue" - "A few thousand years ago there were only a handful of human beings on this earth. Can new consciousness just be created? Is there no supernatural being, just our souls?" - new consciousness cannot be created. But eternal Mind is infinite. Even with - what? - seven billion or something people on earth at the moment, there are a great many more consciousnesses in being that are not now in bodies. And we always have existed - we never began, and we never will end. Actually, the last part of your question - "Is there no supernatural being, just our souls?" - is a profound one. It tends not to occur to religion-based folks, but it begins to bug you as you come to see how much our whole notion of God is actually religion-based (and therefore man-made). The more you study the evidence, dear friend, the more you will come to see that actually it is our souls which are derivative, and not God at all. Nothing else but God is real, and God (as we are able to perceive God) is joyous, ecstatic, infinite Love. Love of such intensity and completeness that we here on earth cannot even imagine it! And we live and move and have our being at the very heart of that Love. Nothing else whatsoever is real.

5) Objective time does not exist. I think your vision before awakening which alarmed you so much was a symbolic dream, rather than anything real - and I think that in part because you were shown a clock. That had to be a just a symbol, nothing more. We all go through a life review soon after we graduate, but in it we relive all the events of our life just completed - in earth-time that is more than sixty seconds! I think that as you were awakening in the fearful state of mind that you inhabit right now, whatever you were told by your guides to comfort you became distorted into what felt like a vision - but it was not a real communication. Please try just to forget about it!

I hope that what I say here and what our dear Fasaga says above and what others will add will be of help to you, dear Eli. This is your own journey, and peace of mind will come only through your own efforts at growth and learning. But I promise you that the journey is glorious!

[vic smyth]

Hi Eli,

The evidence that consciousness survives physical death is overwhelming and growing. In my worldview we are all eternal beings with an Inner Guide/Spiritual Companion/Higher Self as a partner in our journey as imperfect beings in an imperfect world. So in addition to the research that you do, trust your Inner Guide. You'll intuitively know what rings true to you and what doesn't quite fit.

With Lovingkindness (metta),
vic

[Matty Mo]

Welcome to the forums, Eli. First off let me say I personally find it amazing that you have thought so deeply about these things at such a young age. I think it is wonderful that you are giving thought to these things, but I also agree with Fasaga when I tell you it's important not to let these thoughts overwhelm you. We are all on our own journeys in life and it's natural for us to be inquisitive about existence. I know I always have been but only recently have really been seeking out more and more, and I'm 40 years old.

Regarding some things that stood out to me in your post, Fasaga and Roberta had some great feedback already. You mentioned that you are at the point where you need 100% scientific proof at this time in your life. This is not uncommon but know that is unrealistic. I see that you can't get behind the religious ideals, which as you are aware deal mostly in faith.

On the opposite end you have science that has it's foundation in finding logic and order in everything. As you progress through life you will start to see that both science and faith can become symbiotic in helping you understand the nature of our existence.

The way things are in this world almost demands we either have strict faith(religion) or you must have exact answers(science). When one begins to realize it's not so black and white it's easy to feel like your being duped by either side. I myself am very skeptical of many things but I also believe in that there is so much more to our existence than science can explain or that religion can claim.

If I can offer you any advice it would be this- Keep a healthy level of skepticism but never demand absolute truth. I know you won't want to hear this but I don't believe that, as of now, we are really meant to know everything. I think it would be wonderful if tomorrow a group of scientists could come out and say, "here's the detailed meaning of life." However, the majority of scientists don't even want to explore anything outside of contemporary natural law.

To many scientists anything deemed outside of natural law is not worth visiting and is seen in a dogmatic sense. It can be frustrating when you see so many "so called" intelligent people constantly refuse, refute, or deny anything outside of natural law. However, there are subsets of science that have and still are working in these fields and it is my hope that someday there will not be such a stigma against anything deemed paranormal.

I would also say it is imperative to keep an open mind. There was a time in my life that I didn't want to even speak to any devout Christians because the bulk of them seemed so close minded. However, over time, I began to realize that even though I don't necessarily believe what others believe I also feel that we are all connected. I am now very willing, and wanting, to speak to others because I feel a spiritual connection even if we have nothing in common. As mentioned, we are all on our own journeys and it's not you or I's place to tell someone they are right or wrong to believe what they do.

Finally, don't stress too much about what happens when we die. I think we're all here to laugh, live, learn, and love and it's no fun if you just go through life contemplating death. You are so young that the world is wide open, you have so much to experience and learn that I would hate to see you become so jaded and overly anxious about death. Take time to enjoy the beauty of everything around you. From the fireflies buzzing about to the single flower growing out the crack of the sidewalk. Life is wonderful, it is all just what you allow yourself to feel and be open to. I hope this helps you and, again, welcome.

[Eli]

I would like to thank you all for your answers.
I disagree with you in terms of science attempting to fool you just as much as religion, however, science in my opinion, has explained many things we tried to pass off AS religion, with concrete proof.
I understand how nothing can ever truly be absolute, but I have come to find myself accepting the notion of summerlands, I find it strange that without science, something like this can actually be believed. I would have been skeptical about using near-death experiences as evidence, passing it off as a trick of the mind as most people do. However, my mother, in birthing me, actually had a rare medical reaction to plasma, that had left her clinically dead for a good 20 minutes. She managed to come back into her physical body after a time (and was considered brain dead) and lapsed into a coma for a year (in which she had no awareness whatsoever). It was only recently I heard her recollection about this story, where she was floating in the air and felt at peace, however, she didn't trust my father to single-handedly take care of my brother and myself, so with deep regret, she came back to her physical body and in a sense, resurrected after being declared dead.
It might sound ignorant of my asking, but I would like more information about this whole deal of the summerland. I already find this very plausible, compared to the various flaws I find within religion. I would buy the many books that are offered, however, I have taken to reading only on my kobo, and sadly the books are not on there. I will come to buy the actual books in time (when I have the money) and look forward to reading about the celestial plane that is very connected to what we deduce to be the living world.

On a side note, I hope I would be lucky enough to have my own near death experience, as gruesome as that may sound to people. I would also like to thank you all for welcoming me to the forums

[doniker]

I would also say it is imperative to keep an open mind. There was a time in my life that I didn't want to even speak to any devout Christians because the bulk of them seemed so close minded. However, over time, I began to realize that even though I don't necessarily believe what others believe I also feel that we are all connected. I am now very willing, and wanting, to speak to others because I feel a spiritual connection even if we have nothing in common. As mentioned, we are all on our own journeys and it's not you or I's place to tell someone they are right or wrong to believe what they do.

Finally, don't stress too much about what happens when we die. I think we're all here to laugh, live, learn, and love and it's no fun if you just go through life contemplating death. You are so young that the world is wide open, you have so much to experience and learn that I would hate to see you become so jaded and overly anxious about death. Take time to enjoy the beauty of everything around you. From the fireflies buzzing about to the single flower growing out the crack of the sidewalk. Life is wonderful, it is all just what you allow yourself to feel and be open to. I hope this helps you and, again, welcome.

These 2 paragraphs were very inspiring...mostly the 2nd one. Awesome attitude.

[KatLen]

I agree, doniker! Well said, Matty Mo.

Eli: I hope you find all that you are looking for and more. Never stop wanting to learn; there is so much to discover!

[Matty Mo]

These 2 paragraphs were very inspiring...mostly the 2nd one. Awesome attitude.

I agree, doniker! Well said, Matty Mo.

Thanks for the kind words, I appreciate them and am thrilled to have found such an inspiring site to share with some seemingly wonderful souls.

[Annie]

You mother was in a coma for a whole year? That's really incredible, and I'm glad she was able to come back into her body.

I'm trying to remember when everything "clicked" for me and I started to believe that there really is life after death. I think it started out with just seeing/reading people's experiences seeing ghosts on TV/online. This really creeped me out and made me worry that we're all doomed to haunt the earth when we die, but then I started delving into the more positive stuff. It took some convincing for me because I've never had a really obvious psychic experience (only a bunch of little subtle ones) and I don't have anyone I'm closed to on the other side, so trying to communicate with anyone through a medium wouldn't give me any evidence. I guess consistency was one thing that helped me - so many people with near death experiences said the same thing. Like how almost everyone in the afterlife is young and healthy, or how someone would see someone claiming to be their dead grandfather, but didn't recognize him because he looked younger. But then when they went back to their bodies, they later found a picture of him in his youth, and sure enough, it was the same guy. Other common things I would read or hear about were that you can see colors there that you can't perceive here, you can communicate with other spirits there by thought, that they experiences a life review (which isn't the same as judgment, it's more to help you learn and give you perspective), and that you can review past lives almost like watching a movie. Also there've been so many instances of people either communicating with dead loved ones themselves, or through a reputable medium, and gotten enough evidence that it really was the person they wanted to talk to instead of the medium trying to scam them or their mind playing tricks on them.

And you don't need to read books, there is a lot of free stuff out there online. I recently found a Youtube channel called Afterlife TV, Andrew and Roberta from our forum used to do some really great online radio shows interviewing a lot of different people who have had personal experiences with the afterlife, a site with a lot of different near death experiences, and another where a medium recorded the voices of different spirits talking about the afterlife using his vocal chords (I know this sounds far-fetched, I thought so too, but if you do some research about Leslie Flint it seems highly unlikely that he could have been faking it. These are some websites I like and I'm going to try to listen to the radio shows that I've missed and watch some stuff on that YouTube channel. There's so much out there that I feel like I haven't even scratched the surface of it all.