Signs From Our Loved Ones

[mac]

I have posted twice to this thread sticking to the subject matter and I have been totally ignored. Is this an exclusive club to which I don't have the key?

Members will naturally reply to postings they find interesting or relevant to them personally.

But you've complained you're being ignored and although I didn't ignore your posting, it had no relevance for me. It's good for you that you feel that at least half of the 'signs' you see are (quote) "true signs" but that suggests that up to half of them presumably are false.

Not sure what to make of that....

[cleodoggie]

Hi Mac thanks for at least acknowledging I am alive. What I really would like to know is how do you know for sure it's a sign you receive? When I asked a psychic she said some are some aren't. I guess I am confused. Then I get they are if you think they are-well what is that? Anyone care to tell me just how you know it's a sign. I know my husband and I know his kind of signs will be different than some others but it's confusing. So I take everything as a sign which of course makes me feel good. Thanks Mac.

[mac]

Hi Mac thanks for at least acknowledging I am alive. What I really would like to know is how do you know for sure it's a sign you receive? When I asked a psychic she said some are some aren't. I guess I am confused. Then I get they are if you think they are-well what is that? Anyone care to tell me just how you know it's a sign. I know my husband and I know his kind of signs will be different than some others but it's confusing. So I take everything as a sign which of course makes me feel good. Thanks Mac.

In an earlier exchange, Roberta said it probably doesn't do any harm and I'd agree. If you feel good taking everything as a sign that your husband is around then just enjoy - what harm can it do?

[Bella]

[QUOTE=cleodoggie;11081I know my husband and I know his kind of signs will be different than some others but it's confusing. So I take everything as a sign which of course makes me feel good. Thanks Mac.[/QUOTE]

Clodoggie,
I've been away, but noticed your posts now. I too lost my hubby, but three months ago. I find that I get much communication when I'm in a hypnagogic state, between awake and asleep. I think, when it comes to love between spouses, one has a claircognizance, as it is not just about the signs you posted, such as a bird, or the garage door, but the feeling you get that it's from your husband. I find that my husband often gives me feelings of assurance and other feelings of affirmation. Recently, I asked him a question about how to honor his name. I asked for an affirmation from him. It was in the midst of a heat wave and I was sweating when suddenly I got goose bumps. The next night, feeling down, I thanked him for the affirmation, the goose bumps, and I got them again. When I try to create goose bumps, I don't find it possible, as they are not made to order, so I take this as a sign. When my sons dream of my husband, they feel chills, so we recognize this as my husband's presence. As Mac says, yes, enjoy the signs, but also trust in your feelings, as these will not lead you the wrong way.

[cleodoggie]

Hi Bella thanks for answering. You see I notice things that others don't or should I say I am very aware. What I really wanted from my husband was him to appear to me. Well that never happened quite like I expected. I have had the experience in a crowded place of seeing him in the crowd and looking back and he was gone. I hear that they can and do that because it is easier to appear in a crowd. Or someone who looks very similar down the aisle of a store and upon closer look of course it's not him. I do know one thing that I feel he is still around me not as often as at first but on anniversaries and birthdays I can count on having some sort of sign to remind me he is around. I do say my friends are sick of hearing of the latest sign so I just don't say anything to them anymore. I am so sorry you have lost your husband-grieving your husband is so difficult. At three months all I could do is cry. Now at 3 years and 5 months it is easier and the horrible pain is gone. My life is moving on and I am finally looking forward with memories I cherish of my marriage.

[Fasaga]

I have posted twice to this thread sticking to the subject matter and I have been totally ignored. Is this an exclusive club to which I don't have the key?

Hi cleodoggie

I'm sorry you felt ignored, I can assure you noone here intends to make you feel that way. I did read your posts and appologise for not responding directly to them, but I have responded to the subject matter. As Mac says, there is no harm in accepting as signs what you will, and as you yourself acknowledge, not all signs are signs, but if you get joy from some recognition or reminder, that is what it is all about, it serves the same purpose as a genuine sign, to remember loved ones and help us get on with life.

This is so much new ground for so many of us it is difficult to keep up sometimes, please know that you are a valued member of our community and our thoughts are with you.

[Bella]

At three months all I could do is cry. Now at 3 years and 5 months it is easier and the horrible pain is gone. My life is moving on and I am finally looking forward with memories I cherish of my marriage.[/QUOTE]

Thank you so much for your comforting words. I cry all day and I wonder how I will go back to teaching in two weeks, as my heart is broken and have not even a shred of self-confidence left (I don't know why). I am not sure how it is that they appear in crowds. Early on, when my hubby passed, my son said he saw him walking in the street, but it was a man who looked like him. Upon further viewing him, my son saw that it was not my hubby, but when we went to a medium, she looked at my son and said "Your father says you saw him." I have not had that experience. I have heard that apparitions are very difficult to accomplish, as they require a lot of energy. On the other hand, I think that we can open ourselves up to more signs, and I have been working on that. I attend a spiritualist church, meditate and I take a mediumship class.
Danielle McKinnon offers free online downloads for opening up areas of clairvoyance and other psychic channels. I just listened to two and learned some new things. There are five downloads. You sign up for the free newsletter and she sends you the link to the downloads, which are also on mp3s.
http://www.daniellemackinnon.com
I appreciate knowing that the horrible pain is gone for you, but I can't be like this for three years. I can't imagine my life moving on.

[cleodoggie]

Oh Bella I didn't mean to imply that it took me three years to feel better..it was more like two. I want to tell you that I went to the Spiritulist church which is about 40 miles from my home and got some great readings so very much like Jim and funny too. I also went to a circle there once. I have been told that I am a sensitive so I went to a psychic development class from which I really learned nothing at the time because I was grieving so hard. I have always had the ability to just know things and sometimes I freak people out knowing what I do. Please know that you will feel better but grief is work and you must deal with it. I am so sorry for your pain.

[Roberta Grimes]

Thank you so much for your comforting words. I cry all day and I wonder how I will go back to teaching in two weeks, as my heart is broken and have not even a shred of self-confidence left (I don't know why). I am not sure how it is that they appear in crowds. Early on, when my hubby passed, my son said he saw him walking in the street, but it was a man who looked like him. Upon further viewing him, my son saw that it was not my hubby, but when we went to a medium, she looked at my son and said "Your father says you saw him." I have not had that experience. I have heard that apparitions are very difficult to accomplish, as they require a lot of energy. On the other hand, I think that we can open ourselves up to more signs, and I have been working on that. I attend a spiritualist church, meditate and I take a mediumship class.
Danielle McKinnon offers free online downloads for opening up areas of clairvoyance and other psychic channels. I just listened to two and learned some new things. There are five downloads. You sign up for the free newsletter and she sends you the link to the downloads, which are also on mp3s.
http://www.daniellemackinnon.com
I appreciate knowing that the horrible pain is gone for you, but I can't be like this for three years. I can't imagine my life moving on.[/QUOTE]



Dear Bella, losing a beloved spouse or child when either of them is young has to be the most terrible possible pain. I am so sorry! The grief is complex - losing the person's presence, having a gap in one's life that had been so beautifully filled, and the loss of what was supposed to have been a future together: all of it gone. I grieve for you, dear friend - if I could take some of your pain for awhile, I would! The pain of deep grief is compounded, too, by the fact that it generally acts as a barrier to communication - or at least a restriction upon it. Beloved Bella, I have known many grieving people, and while I cannot take away your pain, I can tell you this:

1) The shock and the abrupt change of personal habits are still weighing on you now, and will do that for awhile longer. It takes months before the habit of seeing and interacting with the loved one every day kind of fades, and starts to be replaced by some positive new habits. And until you have some of those new habits in place and begin to enjoy them a little bit, your grief is going to be made more acute by just the lack of anything positive to replace those old pleasures in your daily life. So your going back to teaching seems to me to be a good thing! You need more people around you and more new things to think about.

2) Provided that you allow it to happen, your grief will get better gradually. You likely won't much notice the change day to day, especially since grief tends to ebb and flow, but a year from now - again, if you will allow it - you should be noticing that your worst day is kind of like your best day was in August of 2012. And that gradual lessening will continue. You will never get over your grief. But rather, if you will allow it to happen, you should by the second anniversary of his graduation have a new (and in its way wonderful) relationship with your husband, in which thinking of him brings more pleasure than pain and he occupies a comfortable place in your heart - in your mind, in your day - that enhances everything you do.

3) The rest of your life will still be good. It will be different than it would have been - true! But you will have your children and your work, and as you grow older you will find new and satisfying interests and things to do that you might not have had if your husband were with you in the flesh. That he is always with you is something that will enhance these new experiences, all the rest of your life! But you are bent on a great and wonderful future, dear Bella. Please let him help you keep that firmly in your heart!

- Grief-work is tough, but you have to go through it. The alternative is almost unspeakably tragic. You may have heard of widows who keep their shades drawn and their homes as shrines to a dead husband, in Queen Victoria fashion; and while parents customarily will leave a child's bedroom undisturbed for years, they usually still go on with life. But not always. I am a small-business attorney, and perhaps fifteen years ago I had occasion to visit a client's business partner at his home. I had never met him. When I visited him, I saw why. In the middle of a seventies-era living room was a gigantic colorized formal photo on an easel of a lovely girl in her teens. The picture looked seventies-era, too, and it was. Since it faced the door to the room, we were looking at the back of it as we sat on the sofa with his wife and talked about the awful tragedy of their daughter's death in a car crash. More than twenty years earlier! They had other children - I think they even had grandchildren. But for both of those parents, their lives had ended on the day that their youngest child went home early.

Life is tough! But life is worth it. Big hug and much love, dear Bella!

[Roberta Grimes]

Dear Bella, when I came back and re-read what I said above it seemed to be an insufficient hug. Please understand, dear beloved friend, that I don't mean to minimize what you are going through now, or say that you should "suck it up" or "get over it." You are doing the best that you can do! I admire your courage in facing this head-on, and I know that many others do as well. Please don't worry about how you appear to the world - you look wonderful, and besides what others think doesn't matter. Only know, precious Bella, that your husband is fine and he will help you all your life; know that you are a powerful eternal being, and all of this is just an eye-blink; and know that, yes, you are going to be able to feel much better after awhile even as you still grieve and honor your husband. I know - I have seen it happen for so many others who were not nearly as strong as you are. All will be well, dear Bella - I promise!