Bella, you are grieving. I don't think you need to apologize for a little whining, if that's even what it was. And, not to disagree with Poetic, but I think that feeling lonely and learning to be more independent are probably exactly what you are supposed to be learning, and it will help you in this life, not just in the next. And you will use that learning to help all the other people around you who really do love you, even if you can't feel it right not through the pain.
When my best friend died a couple of years ago, I was very comforted by this:
The Five Remembrances by Thich Nhat Hanh
I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.
I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.