Soul Mates

[TheEscapist]

I just joined this site, but this thread caught my attention because I did meet the person I consider to be my soulmate (although I think of him more as being my twin flame since to me a soulmate is someone who is part of my soul group). He died on Sunday, which led me to this site. I will say that meeting him was different than any other relationship I've experienced. We were enthralled in one another even when we were apart. We love each other unconditionally though and that love has survived through his death. I mourn for him like I'm his widow, not like he was just a friend or an old love. It wasn't even about the physical contact, it was about the boundless unending love that was between us from the moment we met.

With that said, I think that love is different from an earthly marriage because when you become with someone on a soul level, that bond can't be severed. Not by anger, not by death, not by anything. It actually reminds me of a verse in the Bible, although I'm agnostic. "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8: 38, 39 And I think that's what finding that person is really about. It's about experiencing and expressing the unyielding, unconditional, and eternal aspect of what love truly is.

[Roberta Grimes]

This is so beautifully said, dear Escapist! I am sorry that your friend has briefly gone on ahead of you, but glad that you realize he is eternal and you and he will be together again - perhaps not so soon in earthly terms, but in a mere eyeblink of your shared eternity. Big hug! Being separated this way from someone you love can be a journey of growth and discovery - it has its blessings, too, I think you will find, if you but look for them.

I think I feel as you do about the term "soulmate." My research suggests that our eternal lives are far too complex for us to have just one "soulmate," but rather there are many fellow beings who are traveling with us through our various lifetimes, whether or not we are part of a close soulgroup with them. Your friend seems to be one such being in your life, and it is wonderful that you found each other for even what time you had to spend together this time around! Our earthly love-pairings, and even our marriages, seem indeed to be of earth. We don't seem to carry them into eternity, although sometimes we will have been blessed to have paired with and possibly married someone who resonates with us as your friend does with you. I think it is important to keep reassuring people that even though there is apparently no post-death marriage, we will spend as much of our eternity in the company of our earthly lovers or spouses as we like. Again, welcome, dear Escapist!

[poeticblue]

From what I am reading, seeing, and have heard.. there are some people on here who are having an exceptionally hard time dealing with the loss of their loved one. So back to this soul mate thread I go. I just feel the need to say this specifically to my Bella.

You are not in this alone: You are never alone. You were never alone when you were born into this dismal place and you will not be alone when you shed your earthly shell and get the hell out of here. I am seeing that some people are feeling alone without their significant other, child, friend, or family members. There comes a time for grief.. and then there comes a time to mend. You need to see that losing your loved one is not the end. On contrary it is simply the beginning of a brand new life. A life that you can make beautifully, positively, and all your own if you choose to do so. You either have a choice. You crawl into a hole and make your self so mentally sick that if effects everything around you.. or you know that with comes death comes a new life.

Do not compare your situation to other peoples: Please focus on your life and not others. I know it may be hard seeing someone else who is happily still with their loved ones who is still alive while you are feeling left alone. This brings me back to point A. You are never alone. Think about the people who are still in your life. You need to be mentally strong and mend yourself in order to fully love and appreciate the people who are still alive. For example Ms. Bella.. your son needs for you to be mentally well for him. I know you are doing a great job right now but it seems like you need a change of surroundings and some new friends who will be nicer to you. Also you are a wonderful person before your husband died and you are still a wonderful person now. Your husband did not define who you were when you were alive and he certainly does not define who you are now. You can still be that happy person without him if you choose to take this situation and turn it into a positive. Do not compare your situation to others and stay the heck away from negative people. Immerse yourself in spiritual forums, spend as much time with people who love you, talk to your husband who is still around you in spirit, and work on dream visitations.

Please know that life will go on and things will get better. I just don't want certain people having regrets that they didn't turn a negative situation into a positive situation when they make it to heaven and see their life review. Specifically you Ms. beautiful Bella... if anything you might just need to take a break from all of this afterlife stuff. Get outside and roll around in the grass for a bit. Breathe the fresh air... look around you for all the signs that your husband is still here.. he has never left you and he wants you to be happy... I want you to be happy.. stay away from negative know it all people. Ignore them and focus on the people who do love you. Please don't count down the hour glass wondering when your time will be up for you to join your husband. Cherish every moment that you have here.. you have all eternity to join your husband later.. and like I said.. who is to say you won't find someone else? You deserve to be happy. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do. <3

[Sapphire]

From what I am reading, seeing, and have heard.. there are some people on here who are having an exceptionally hard time dealing with the loss of their loved one. So back to this soul mate thread I go. I just feel the need to say this specifically to my Bella.

You are not in this alone: You are never alone. You were never alone when you were born into this dismal place and you will not be alone when you shed your earthly shell and get the hell out of here. I am seeing that some people are feeling alone without their significant other, child, friend, or family members. There comes a time for grief.. and then there comes a time to mend. You need to see that losing your loved one is not the end. On contrary it is simply the beginning of a brand new life. A life that you can make beautifully, positively, and all your own if you choose to do so. You either have a choice. You crawl into a hole and make your self so mentally sick that if effects everything around you.. or you know that with comes death comes a new life.

Do not compare your situation to other peoples: Please focus on your life and not others. I know it may be hard seeing someone else who is happily still with their loved ones who is still alive while you are feeling left alone. This brings me back to point A. You are never alone. Think about the people who are still in your life. You need to be mentally strong and mend yourself in order to fully love and appreciate the people who are still alive. For example Ms. Bella.. your son needs for you to be mentally well for him. I know you are doing a great job right now but it seems like you need a change of surroundings and some new friends who will be nicer to you. Also you are a wonderful person before your husband died and you are still a wonderful person now. Your husband did not define who you were when you were alive and he certainly does not define who you are now. You can still be that happy person without him if you choose to take this situation and turn it into a positive. Do not compare your situation to others and stay the heck away from negative people. Immerse yourself in spiritual forums, spend as much time with people who love you, talk to your husband who is still around you in spirit, and work on dream visitations.

Please know that life will go on and things will get better. I just don't want certain people having regrets that they didn't turn a negative situation into a positive situation when they make it to heaven and see their life review. Specifically you Ms. beautiful Bella... if anything you might just need to take a break from all of this afterlife stuff. Get outside and roll around in the grass for a bit. Breathe the fresh air... look around you for all the signs that your husband is still here.. he has never left you and he wants you to be happy... I want you to be happy.. stay away from negative know it all people. Ignore them and focus on the people who do love you. Please don't count down the hour glass wondering when your time will be up for you to join your husband. Cherish every moment that you have here.. you have all eternity to join your husband later.. and like I said.. who is to say you won't find someone else? You deserve to be happy. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do. <3

Poeticblue, your post to Bella was just beautiful.

I can only hope that if/when I experience this type of loss that I can remember your words here. I cannot imagine one second apart from my dear husband here on earth should he pass first. Of course, I don't like the idea that he might experience this, either.

I know that my dad yearns to be with my mom again; they shared such a great love through many of life's painful events. When the time comes, I will be bereft but at the same time I will find the joy within myself to realize that he had been reunited with the love of his life.

[Bella]

Thank you for that beautiful post, Poeticblue. It is difficult to not feel lonely in this earth plane, but friends who sense that something is wrong, the way you sensed it, and actually wrote to me, do indeed make me feel as though I am not alone. Strangely, I may have been in shock at the outset, but now that I have returned to work, (almost five months since the passing) and don't have my hubby to come home to, the reality has hit home. Spending time with friends and not having him to come home to, changes the dynamic to everything, and it is akin to a nightmare that one does not wake up from. I think the problem is that, as Roberta has expressed it, people don't know or choose not to believe in the afterlife, so wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone knew what two hundred years of research has revealed? People don't mean to be cruel when they point out how miserable I must be because my life is ruined. It's just that this is how they see reality without the benefit of internalizing the idea of an afterlife.
I am just going to take a vacation from talking to people for awhile and then I'll be very careful about who I speak to. In the meantime, I have a journal where I recorded all of my husband's communications with me, and will reread it, as this is what Carol and Mikey call the hand that pulls you out of the pit of grief for awhile. I am fortunate to have your friendship, Poeticblue, and the input of so many of you kind people on this forum. I've just got to take it one day at a time, as each day brings me closer to going home, where I will return with far greater understanding than what I came to this earth with. Thank you so much for caring.

[poeticblue]

Thank you for that beautiful post, Poeticblue. It is difficult to not feel lonely in this earth plane, but friends who sense that something is wrong, the way you sensed it, and actually wrote to me, do indeed make me feel as though I am not alone. Strangely, I may have been in shock at the outset, but now that I have returned to work, (almost five months since the passing) and don't have my hubby to come home to, the reality has hit home. Spending time with friends and not having him to come home to, changes the dynamic to everything, and it is akin to a nightmare that one does not wake up from. I think the problem is that, as Roberta has expressed it, people don't know or choose not to believe in the afterlife, so wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone knew what two hundred years of research has revealed? People don't mean to be cruel when they point out how miserable I must be because my life is ruined. It's just that this is how they see reality without the benefit of internalizing the idea of an afterlife.
I am just going to take a vacation from talking to people for awhile and then I'll be very careful about who I speak to. In the meantime, I have a journal where I recorded all of my husband's communications with me, and will reread it, as this is what Carol and Mikey call the hand that pulls you out of the pit of grief for awhile. I am fortunate to have your friendship, Poeticblue, and the input of so many of you kind people on this forum. I've just got to take it one day at a time, as each day brings me closer to going home, where I will return with far greater understanding than what I came to this earth with. Thank you so much for caring.

Anything we can do to help just let us know Bella. There are certain people I feel a strong connection with and certain things need to be said because thats what friends do for eachother. They try to lift eachother up when they are feeling down.. even though nothing can be perfect here on earth.. we try to make the best of what we got. We have to paint with the colors we are given here.

I myself am going through the hardest time with a best friend who I feel I am meant to spend the rest of my life with. I wrote on my blog about people in your soul group. Relationships with people in your soul group can be one of the toughest because you are specifically meant to deal with your issues with these people. Its just not fair sometimes. I wish we all can just be happy. But we came to earth to experience what it means to be an imperfect being (the opposite of who we truly are). My friend has agreed to speak with me tonight about our issues.. I'm not sure how its going to go.. I'm bracing myself for the worst. He might not want anything to do with me. 3 years of soul friendship down the drain.. I'll keep you posted and let you know how it goes. In the mean time.. keep your head up!

[Celera]

PoeticBlue, I hope your conversation with your friend goes well and you don't end up parting ways. But even if you do -- years of friendship are never down the drain! Those years are still good and valuable, whether the friendship continues or not.

I think of this particularly with respect to my ex-husband. When I first knew him -- we had been introduced and I saw him around church but we hadn't ever really talked -- I had a persistent sense that I remembered him from somewhere. When we did start to get acquainted I kept searching his life story for some occasion where we might have previously met, but there was nothing. I now think that perhaps I recognized him from before this life -- and that in some way he and I may be soul mates, even though at this time we are not close because of issues that he hasn't been able to resolve.

But even though we got divorced, I don't think of my marriage as a failure, or of those years as wasted, and I still hope that one day he will overcome his problems and find some peace in this life.

[poeticblue]

PoeticBlue, I hope your conversation with your friend goes well and you don't end up parting ways. But even if you do -- years of friendship are never down the drain! Those years are still good and valuable, whether the friendship continues or not.

I think of this particularly with respect to my ex-husband. When I first knew him -- we had been introduced and I saw him around church but we hadn't ever really talked -- I had a persistent sense that I remembered him from somewhere. When we did start to get acquainted I kept searching his life story for some occasion where we might have previously met, but there was nothing. I now think that perhaps I recognized him from before this life -- and that in some way he and I may be soul mates, even though at this time we are not close because of issues that he hasn't been able to resolve.

But even though we got divorced, I don't think of my marriage as a failure, or of those years as wasted, and I still hope that one day he will overcome his problems and find some peace in this life.

Thanks Celera. Everything is fine and we worked it out. Thanks for your advice. If things hadn't of worked out I was prepared to eventually move on. Not worth getting mentally sick over something I couldn't change ya know. Life needs to move on.

I guess we need to learn that when things don't go the way you want them to you just need to roll with it and let life take the lead. If you have tried everything you could to change a situation you kind of have to let it go and let life take its course. I'm a fighter though so that can be difficult for me. However it is clear that I need to learn how to relax. Thanks for your input

Dr. Phil session 101 hehe.

[poeticblue]

Poeticblue, your post to Bella was just beautiful.

I can only hope that if/when I experience this type of loss that I can remember your words here. I cannot imagine one second apart from my dear husband here on earth should he pass first. Of course, I don't like the idea that he might experience this, either.

I know that my dad yearns to be with my mom again; they shared such a great love through many of life's painful events. When the time comes, I will be bereft but at the same time I will find the joy within myself to realize that he had been reunited with the love of his life.

And thanks Sapphire!!

[mokandi]

My son was my soul mate. I knew it the moment he was born. The last thing I thought when I drove away that last Sunday visit was that he truly was the love of my life. He passed three days later. I had no idea that was to come. I did on a soul level however. I don't believe a soul mate necessarily means a spouse. How do others interpret soul mate?