With Lovingkindness (metta),
With Lovingkindness (metta),
"You cannot travel the path until you have become the path."
Thanks for commenting on this, Vic and Andrew. Love and forgiveness start here and continue after the transition occurs. Having been going to mediums lately, what strikes me is how similar people's personalities are on the 'other side'. I've noticed that a person's inability to forgive another while on earth, continues in the afterlife. Anger seems to continue, as do cravings, and the afterlife is an existence based on thought, so what this has brought home to me lately is that heaven is the continuation of the work we have to do here on earth. I just finished Helen Greaves Testimony of Light, an extraordinary Message of life, (Random House, 1969), and this really brought the point home to me. It definitely takes away the appeal of suicide and gives more meaning to the suffering we go through on earth.
Unfortunately, the destruction of your soul (or mind) is apparently not an option. For me, the main problem with killing yourself is that it is impossible for you to die, so all that suicide does is to magnify all the problems that drove you to think about killing yourself in the first place, and then add on top of those problems the terrible guilt and regret that post-death suicides seem always to feel. Suicide just makes everything worse. As hard as it is, by far the easiest way to handle even the most difficult problems is to do just as our wonderful Bella suggests. Ask for help from God, who loves you infinitely, and from the Jesus of the Gospels, who is your Wayshower and Best Friend. The surest way to avoid future reincarnations is to really do the most that you can with this lifetime!
Thank you for saying that. I'm just trying to work things through. This forum, and the presence of you, Roberta, and those other contributors here who have given their time, focus and energy here to me at a time when my posts reflected the agony that I was and continue to be going through, was an enormous gift to me. I remember when I wrote that first post about the apparition and everyone so kindly responded. In my life, those around me had so much fear that they could not help me. I don't know what I would have done without this forum. I thank everyone for their kindness.
That's very sweet, Poeticblue. I am working on getting better. Thank you.
Surley God wouldn't force anyone to reincarnate though right? I think that making someone live a life with severe depression is a cruel and mean thing that I don't think a loving God would do to someone. You see, it's not that I don't care about my friends and family and how they feel. Its just that one person can only take so much. I see others with much better lives and think that maybe God is better to them then to me. It just all seems so pointless. Why bother with it all? I just don't see my life as worth living sometimes. Don't get me wrong I love my family a lot, just I don't like myself. I can't stand it. I just really wish I could skip this life and be in heaven and be able to live freely and enjoy myself without constraint. I honestly see no point in life. I don't care for whatever lessons I'm supposed to learn and frankly don't see why we are all wasting our time here. Why not just all stay in heaven and live in perfection? The only lesson I've learned here is that when I die to NEVER, EVER reincarnate for any reason EVER.
I've been severly depressed seince I was 16 (I'm 22 now). For years I wanted to die and attempted to kill myself dozens of times (I honestly don't see how I survived all that) but failed. I'm just ugly and nobody (outside of my family, who kinda don't count in this context) will ever love me. While other kids were having girlfriends and such I was just a looser. That's just all there is to it. I know about the afterlife and have been lurking here for some time and reading sites like near-death.com and such and honestly that hasn't helped. I don't know why I would choose to live this life and hate myself for being so stupid. Maybe my killing myself would teach myself a lesson on foolishly incarnating. I mean really, what am I supposed to learn from this? How much life sucks?
The worst part is it's like I'm trapped. The only reason I can't kill myself is because I couldn't do that to my family who love me. So I'm stuck here hating my life, my job, everything. All for their sake. Sometimes I can't help but see them as chains holding my back from escaping this existance. I sort of have a plan stage an accident to kill me to spare them the grief of knowing I killed myself. I just don't know. Often times at night I pray for my sprit guides or whatever to reveal themself to me and let me talk to them, but of course to no avail. They just can't be bothered I guess.
Either way sorry for the long post but I just have nowhere else to turn and would be to embarrased to talk to anyone about it in real life.