Telephone Mediums

[Firebird]

I recently mentioned this forum to a guy at work while we were discussing ghost-hunting and whatnot. As it turns out, he already had experience with this stuff, and had talked to at least three or four mediums over the past year trying to reach the spirit of his mother for help in some family dispute. I won't bother you with the details (because they would bore you, trust me), but in the end all but one of the mediums he talked to were either unsuccessful or obvious charlatans. According to him, the only one that did actually seem to reach his mother (or fake it well enough to be believable) was the one he only interacted with via telephone.

So what made that one medium succeed where the others had failed? Random chance? Do spirits feel more comfortable making contact when only strangers are present?

[RudeAwakening]

Hi Firebird

Your question is literally impossible to answer. The variables might as well be infinite. We can probably rule out random chance or shy spirits though, unless perhaps random describes the way in which your friend picked the mediums.

The very first medium I sat with in my life was six months ago. She hit the ball out of the park, over the bleachers and into the next county. Preparation and research, as is true with most things in life, appear to have some impact on success in this area as well.

I also find that what the spirit wants to talk about and what you want to talk about are often not the same thing. Asking mediums questions like “What does Uncle George think about the new house?” is not the way to get results and validation in these sessions.

Prepare prior as best as an individual is capable of. Let the medium interpret as best they can what’s coming in and validate for them at obvious validation points or when asked to by the medium, such as: “I have a man coming through wearing a purple suit with bushy eyebrows with a chipped front tooth who says he’s your grandpa – do you recognize this man?” That’s how it should go.

Does that help? Research, learn, seek and ye shall find as they say. I was led to that medium like I had a bit in my mouth and blinders on, but I did do a bit of research, I trusted my instincts and I prepared for the session like I was preparing for something really important.

[Andrew]

Hi Firebird! Rude Awakening is right, there is an infinite number of variables that could interfere with a deceased loved one coming through and how clear the messages that they send are. It is my personal opinion, however, that over-the-phone readings are more accurate in general. I say this because, when a medium is right next to you, it is possible that they are reading (either on purpose or accidentally) your energy and getting their information based on that, rather than being contacted by the actual people you want to see. It may still be possible, but the risk of this happening is much less over the phone.

It is also important to remember that the field of mediumship is filled with fakes. You don't want to be too quick to assume someone is legitimate, but you also don't want to start off assuming they're a charlatan. Awakening is right - do the research first, it will pay off.

[Carol and Mikey]

Firebird,
One of the best readings I had after Mikey's accident was a phone reading by CJ Sellers. It was almost a year after Mikey's accident. Her accuracy was amazing! I let her do the talking. I asked minimal questions and gave minimal leads. If your co-worker goes in with a specific question or concern, his mom may not be interested in that issue which could affect the reading. I found it better to just have the medium do the talking. In Heaven, I don't think our loved ones are interested in certain "earthly issues" if you know what I mean. If they want to give advice, it will come through.
Carol

[Roberta Grimes]

I recently mentioned this forum to a guy at work while we were discussing ghost-hunting and whatnot. As it turns out, he already had experience with this stuff, and had talked to at least three or four mediums over the past year trying to reach the spirit of his mother for help in some family dispute. I won't bother you with the details (because they would bore you, trust me), but in the end all but one of the mediums he talked to were either unsuccessful or obvious charlatans. According to him, the only one that did actually seem to reach his mother (or fake it well enough to be believable) was the one he only interacted with via telephone.

So what made that one medium succeed where the others had failed? Random chance? Do spirits feel more comfortable making contact when only strangers are present?

It is a curious fact that telephone readings with mediums who might be halfway around the world can work out wonderfully. Indeed, some mediums have said that for them phone readings tend to work out better than do in-person readings, and they speculate that this might be because they are not distracted by the appearance of the sitter and not able to pick up nonverbal cues. We know that in reality there is no distance, and we also know that all of our minds are together in the same place, so the minds of the medium, the sitter, and the dead subject are all together. Doesn't matter where their bodies are!

Our wonderful friends Awakening, Vita and Carol & Mikey have answered your question well, dear Firebird, but I will also offer some thoughts as to why some readings succeed while others fail:

1) Some mediums are more skilled than others. Even very talented mediums need time in which to polish their skills. I have attended four appearances by John Edward over the past eight years, and I have enjoyed watching him develop his abilities from "Someone here lost a lady to the side - no, above - who is associated with the number five" through "This side of the room - somebody lost a lady above, feels like a mother vibration which could also be mother-in-law - the number five, which could mean born in May or died in May" to "I'm coming to the back row on this side, end of the row - I think it's that third person in - stand up, please - yes, you - did you recently lose your mother? She is telling me you didn't want to come today but your buddy insisted!" It has been wonderful to watch a gifted medium grow!

2) Some mediums are effectively fakes. I think nearly everyone who works as a medium has developed some level of latent skill, but for too many of them it becomes easy to cold-read and guess. Gullible clients are eager to fill in the blanks. Phone mediums can't do this as well, which is another reason to prefer phone readings.

3) Sometimes either we or our loved ones simply are not ready. Although occasionally a loved one is reachable soon after death, it is my understanding that it generally takes months before they are able to communicate. And while we are still in shock and deep grief it is usually impossible for our loved ones to come through to us.

4) Our loved ones may not want to talk, for reasons of their own. My father was an alcoholic, and he drank heavily until I was 12. Although many of the mediums that I consulted as part of my research would describe him as lurking in the background (and they nailed his description - no question who it was), he never would speak. It was only 20 years after his death, almost to the day, that he spoke to my daughter through a medium and asked her to convey his apology to my sister and me for the way that he had damaged our shared childhood.

5) Some mediums simply may not "click" with a given sitter or a given dead subject. Since reality is based in highly emotional Mind-energy, and since sometimes people's energies will clash, it is possible for even a very good medium to do poorly in one particular case.

- The lesson of all this is to wait until six months after the death, to prefer phone readings, to get recommendations from friends, and then to keep trying. Thank you, dear Firebird - great question!

[TheGodSplinter]

I'd begin to have faith in telephone mediums only if they secure-lodged (with somebody impartial in the situation) their answers to my questions ONE HOUR before I phoned or before they'd even heard of me and could refer to me by my first name as soon as they pick up the phone.

Until then, my jury will remain out.

[mac]

Speaking as a Brit (I see some of you guys are on the other side of the big pond) there is a constant problem with what 'medium' is supposed to mean here. From what I've heard elsewhere, it's plain that the term 'medium' can be widely interpreted. I've been battling for over two years to try to find out what folk expect a medium to do, mostly an unsuccessful battle...

Again from what I hear it seems that psychics and mediums are often seen as the same thing. A 'reading' may be evidential mediumship or equally it may be a psychic reading. Some seem to have been 'read' and fed back that information as if it came from a third party through the practitioner.

Perhaps that's what the enquirer expected?

Perhaps that's what the practitioner thinks a medium does or simply doesn't know the difference between one and the other? Or drifts from one to the other inadvertently?

[Andrew]

Here is this website's definition of the word "medium": A person with psychic abilities who is able to assist in our communications with the dead. Most mediums are either psychic mediums who are able to read the thoughts of their (dead) controls who are in direct communication with our dead loved ones, or they are trance-mediums, able to withdraw from their bodies while in trance and allow a psychic dead person (also called a “control”) to speak using the medium’s body.

I'm not sure, but I think Roberta wrote this definition. As for psychic, I would say that psychics are people who can intuitively access information and/or inner peace through means/channels of which most people are not aware. A psychic medium is a type of psychic who uses his/her abilities to connect and communicate with the deceased in the ways mentioned above in the definition of medium.

Does that help?

[mokandi]

I often wonder if a medium isn't just able to connect with a human's mind. Reading the information we are able to store.

[mac]

Here is this website's definition of the word "medium": A person with psychic abilities who is able to assist in our communications with the dead. Most mediums are either psychic mediums who are able to read the thoughts of their (dead) controls who are in direct communication with our dead loved ones, or they are trance-mediums, able to withdraw from their bodies while in trance and allow a psychic dead person (also called a “control”) to speak using the medium’s body.

I'm not sure, but I think Roberta wrote this definition. As for psychic, I would say that psychics are people who can intuitively access information and/or inner peace through means/channels of which most people are not aware. A psychic medium is a type of psychic who uses his/her abilities to connect and communicate with the deceased in the ways mentioned above in the definition of medium.

Does that help?

Doesn't help me but it wasn't for me that I had asked the questions....

I'm certain what a medium is for myself but I meet many who aren't, or who have different expectations. Definitions in dictionaries only reflect usage so they don't necessarily help. And mediums don't speak to 'the dead' - that's just the media love to say it.

As for "psychic medium" I'd have to use the old chestnut that all mediums are psychic so what would one expect a non-psychic medium would do?

It's not for me but for the folk who are confused by what kind of communication they've experienced and what its significance is.