Semi-psychic experience that has left me very upset

[Annie]

Hi everyone. I'm a bit emotional and am typing fast so I'm sorry if I make a lot of errors. Let me preface this post by saying that recently, I've started kind of feeling down about things that happen to people, and have just been feeling upset over all at this whole concept that we need to suffer to progress. I read this story in Self magazine about a woman who lost both legs from the shin down, an arm from the forearm down, and her eyesight, and while she has a fairly positive attitude considering the circumstances, it just made me cry and wonder why this kind of thing has to happen.

Death doesn't make me sad. When I hear of someone dying, I pity the people left behind, but I'm always kind of happy for the deceased who is in a happier place. Suffering here on earth just brings me down though. And I know sometimes we compare a hard life to taking a difficult course in high school or college, but I have another analogy to consider. Let's suppose I was raped (I wasn't, this is just hypothetical) and my attacker was brought to justice, is in prison, and I have all kinds of support from friends and family. It's all in the past, it's over and done with. Would I really say to myself, "Wow, I'm so glad I was raped, I'm really a stronger person now"? Somehow I doubt it. Basically I'm referring to post-traumatic stress disorder and that's what the outer darkness seems to be. What if life is just so painful that it carries over into the afterlife? What good does that do? Why do spirit guides let us take on all these things, sometimes I think they should either talk us out of it or prevent it from happening.

Anyway, my main point here is something weird that happened. It's funny, I guess I figured this whole psychic thing was something that happened to the rest of you but not to me. Roberta hearing from her friend's dead husband, Carol communicating with Mikey, Andrew's out of body experiences, and all of Awakening's crazy experiences. So when I had these weird, very vague thoughts about something happening to someone's left eye, I thought very little of it. I thought I was being a negative Nancy and needed to just stop it and think of something else. It happened once, and then it happened again last night as I was lying in bed. "Maybe it's a warning," I thought. "Or it would be, if I was psychic. But I'm not." I mean sure, I've predicted things that came to pass, but those could just be chalked up to coincidence or, most of the time, common sense. And there've been plenty of things that have happened that I didn't see coming.

So today, my grandmother woke up from a nap unable to see out of her left eye. My mom and grandfather took her to the emergency room. They think she had either a stroke or detached retina and she is seeing an ophthalmologist tomorrow morning (which is the soonest she is able to). I'm really stressed out, I would hate to live blind in one eye and I know she would be too, she's the type that complains about just about every ache and pain and I just feel awful. I felt awful when I heard the news and I felt even worse when, a couple hours later, I remembered these premonitions. Were my spirit guides trying to warn me? They weren't very specific as to who, but if I'd put two and two together I would've logically assumed it would be one of my grandparents. If I told them to get their eyes checked though, they might have thought I was nuts, but it should've been a risk I was willing to take.

I'm praying they'll be able to re-attach her retina (I think this is what it was, rather than a stroke) but oh god am I going to feel terrible if they can't. I feel like I dropped the ball. A couple of not-so-great things have happened recently, but I felt like I could handle them, but this just kind of was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Anyway, I'm not depressed in a suicidal sense so don't worry about me. I just feel a bit down and might need to take a break from these forums because I kind of just want to think about life right now and not the afterlife so much. I'll still think about it, I think about it everyday, but sometimes I find myself becoming so engrossed and just wishing for all suffering to be over for everybody. But this whole incident has also made me realize that I have it pretty good, I have my health and my vision and all my limbs, organs, and features and I need to stop b****ing and refrain from taking all the good things for granted. I'll probably still lurk here a little bit though for the time being. And I'll still read and reply to this thread if anyone comments. But I want you all to know that I care for you a lot, you've helped me so much and taught me more than I can express and I am so grateful for it. I'm sure I'll be back when I feel a little more stable again because I want to help other people the way you've helped me. :)

[Carol and Mikey]

Annie,
Mikey wants you to know that life is not suppose to be all miserable. We are to enjoy it and have fun too! He does feel your guides were giving you a warning. (I know that is what happened to me before Mikey's accident.) But you did not drop the ball! Mikey tells me these warnings are to help us accept what is coming. It would have been impossible for me to keep Mikey under lock and key to prevent what was going to happen to him. He would have thought I was nuts! As well as everyone else!
He tells me in Heaven we choose some of these life challenges. Life lessons are not all suppose to be more difficult. Suffering is not the only way to advancement. Please know that. MIkey tells me in regards to the one story about the person with all the amputations, that is the exception to the rule. That is not a common undertaking. I have worked with amputees for 27 years in a large rehab center. I have seen one individual like that. She ended up being the inspiration to so many! She had the best attitude and was a true shining light! I will never forget her! My mom lost almost all her vision very quickly from wet macular degeneration about 10 years ago. She too worked through this and continues to enjoy life. She has adapted well. She tells me how it made her not to take things for granted and to always be thankful for what we have.
According to Mikey, rape is generally not a life lesson. It is a violent "act". He tells me this "act" is looked upon differently in Heaven, with the the issue being more for the soul who did the act versus the receiver.
Please know that life can be a challenge, but it can be a whole lot of fun too! Suffering is not the only way to advance our soul growth.
We will miss you Annie! Please come back when you feel you can. You are such a positive wonderful energy on this forum!
Carol and Mikey "in Spirit"

[TheGodSplinter]

Hi...

Had your grandparents not thought you to be nuts, the next stage in the serial scenario would've been you at the (possibly) ER. There, when you tell them that one of your grandparents - although you're not yet sure which one of the two standing nearby it's to be - is about to experience detachment of the retina in one eye, you'd've been marched out by security to the sound of laughter in the waiting area and probably from among the staff, also.

- No part of this has been your fault.
- No part of the run-up to this has been your fault.

"Seeing the light" and knowing what to do next, with it, is easy to handle for those accustomed to handling it, and maybe not always even then. Getting the person next to you to realise the rapid-coming events shown to you in that premonitive "light" is an entirely different thing.

Besides, if your grandmother felt that way about aches and pains, you then telling her of the premonition might have actually backfired, in that she might have decided that she didn't want to hear inaccurately anticipated bad news from a professional health care giver and she might have decided simple to NOT GO!

You did what was right!

Splinter.

[vic smyth]

Annie, I feel the same way you do: "just wishing for all suffering to be over for everybody". And I had the same concerns that you expressed about: "this whole concept that we need to suffer to progress". I've finally dropped this belief. Is your Heart tugging at you to do the same?

I will devote my afternoon meditation/prayer session to your grandmother's well being.

With Lovingkindness (metta (http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/buddharakkhita/wheel365.html#intro)),
vic

[Andrew]

Hi Annie! First off, I agree that this was some type of psychic experience. We are all somewhat psychic but, most of the time, the skill isn't used or practiced, and so it remains pretty untuned. It's like any skill, the more practice we get, the better we are. So, perhaps this skill will develop as time goes on.

What was NOT your fault at all though! There was absolutely nothing that you could have done. As Splinter says above, even if you had warned your grandparents, and they had believed you, you still wouldn't have known which grandparent would lose their sight, and you wouldn't have even been sure that either of them would. It's doubtful that anyone would have believed you enough to perform the needed tests anyway. Your grandmother's loss of sight, whether temporary or permanent, was in no way your fault.

As for suffering, it is not the only way through which the soul can advance, but it is one of the quickest ways. I think that, when we are connected to our earthly bodies, we see everything as that happens to that body as a big deal. It's like, when you're in kindergarten, having another kid knock over your pile of toys is a big deal. From the teacher's perspective however, you are helping that other kid learn his limits and you are learning patience. That's sort of what's happening here, just on a much bigger scale. Ultimately, we realize that we are not our bodies, so we realize how temporary anything effecting it is. Think of the body as a car. It gets us where we want to go, but it is ultimately just the means to an end. So, suffering here could also be equated to getting a flat tire, or our car getting totaled.

Anyway, I hope you will rejoin us when you feel you are ready to. I wish you luck on your spiritual journey, dear Annie!

[Annie]

Thanks you guys. I need to get more details from my mom who took her to the ophthalmologist but apparently there is internal bleeding and he couldn't see in there very well, so he's giving her some eye drops hoping it will drain and she's going back tomorrow. He thinks it's a vitreous detachment which isn't as bad as a retinal attachment, apparently it happens to just about everyone at some point but usually they don't know about it or it's not this bad.

Carol, thank you so much for contacting Mikey, reading your post was really uplifting. I'd forgotten about how you had a premonition about Mikey yourself...you're right, maybe this was just to tell me what was coming. And I really respect what you do with amputees, I think it would be difficult for me to do that without crying everyday haha, but what rewarding work that would be. And thank you for sharing that story about your mother, I think it's really great that she has that attitude. I hope my grandma would too. I worry about my grandma because I just think this is going to make her depressed...she's a good woman and I love her so much but going from the way she reacts to small setbacks, I'm worried that this will really bring her down if it gets bad.

Splinter, haha, I know, they would've thought I was off my rocker. Thank you, you're right, if I was used to getting all kinds of these thoughts and warnings in my head then I could go around telling people to watch out for _____ all the time. If this kind of thing happens again then maybe I will.

Vic, thank you so much. I don't know, it's hard to explain, I like what Carol said about how you don't have to suffer to progress, but that some people feel that they do...I don't know, it's like sometimes when I see people in a really rough situation who are making the best of it, I think wow, that person is so advanced. I don't think I'd be able to handle it quite so well. It's such a complicated feeling, I wish we could just live and die without a lot of hardship in between, I mean don't we struggle enough with having to earn money while balancing relationships without all that other stuff on top of it? That's kinda how I feel about it. Maybe every person is different though, maybe some feel the need to take on suffering, possibly for leftover guilt from past lives (that's my theory anyway).

Thanks Andrew, it's reassuring to hear you say that there's nothing I could've done. Maybe this is one of those life lessons in self-forgiveness. I just hope it all blows over and turns out fine, and then she'll be relieved and realize that while her body might not be perfect, she's still in great shape and that things could be a lot worse, and not to take what she has for granted. I do know that we're not our bodies but it's just hard because when something goes really wrong with these vehicles, it's easy to just start wishing for it all to be over so you can be flawless and in the afterlife again. Which of course makes life seem even longer and more difficult.

And I think this is why I need to take a break, life will go by too slowly if I think of heaven TOO much. But like I said, I'll still think of it once in a while and keep reading this forum, I just might not post as much. Thanks you all for your kind words.

[LachlanMac]

Hey Annie,

I really won't comment on your experience because there really isn't much to gain from it. Who can really separate coincidence from physic phenomena, anyway.
But - I hope everything works out for you and you find your happiness. From my time here, you're typically one of the people with who I align with most, so it's sad to see you taking a break but I do understand

Best of wishes!

[Roberta Grimes]

Dear wonderful Annie, I saw your post as I was running out the door this morning so I have had all day to think about it. I can't improve on the great insights that our friends have shared above, but I want just to add some thoughts:

1) You have an extraordinary capacity to help others to progress spiritually. Your posting here has been so wise and insightful - and so full of love - that I see you as extraordinarily gifted. And watching you grow even more has been a delight for me! It seems clear that your life-plan includes some form of spiritual teaching or counseling, and to do that well you do have to keep yourself spiritually centered and supported. So if you feel destabilized and you need time away, I understand. Please do whatever you feel guided to do, but please know that you have a gift. And you won't feel really happy or fulfilled unless you share it.

2) Your guides may have been making you an offer. You have spiritual-teaching-based guides working with you now, and they are trying to help you determine the best direction for your own contribution. It's as if they are saying, "So, okay. How would you most like to serve? Do you want to develop your psychic talents, perhaps become an intuitive? Let's try giving you a premonition and see whether you like it." Another person might have been delighted or intrigued by what happened to you, but you found it alarming. So I think they will back off - in other words, I don't think you need to fear that you are now going to be deluged with such experiences. I have been working with similar guides for most of my life - since long before I was aware of them - and I can assure you that yours are going to be careful and protective of your feelings. They are not likely to keep giving you experiences that upset you (unless the life-plan that you wrote is emphatic that you must become an intuitive, for reasons not yet obvious to us). On the other hand, if you become used to the idea of being somewhat psychic and you let them know mentally that you are open to more such experiences, they may well oblige you. They want to help you become the most successful possible spiritual teacher, dear Annie!

3) You bear no responsibility for what happened to your grandmother. I'm sure you realize that! As I read your post, you weren't even sure to whom the premonition was directed. You did not cause your grandmother's problem, nor could you have prevented it. This is one reason why I think that your premonition was meant as an offer from your guides. They wanted to let you know in a dramatic way that you have latent abilities that could be developed if doing that interests you.

I will be frank with you, dear precious Annie. Your contributions here have been extraordinary, and I would hate it if you left us for long! As was true when Gypsy felt the need to leave us, I ask you please to keep in touch with me and let me know how you are doing and whether you need anything. I believe that you are meant to be a great spiritual teacher, and if you keep your heart open to all possibilities your guides will help you discover where your talents are meant to be used. Big hug, dear friend!!

[Richard]

Roberta, what a great response, and Annie I agree with Roberta, you would be missed greatly if you stayed away for too long! You really add a lot to the discussions he and you seem to be a wonderful soul. If you need to leave we understand, but please come back when you are ready.

[Annie]

Awww, thanks you guys. I'm so touched by everything you've all said. Well, let me respond one by one again...

Lachlan, thank you, I think the same about you. :) To be honest, I think what happened was more than a coincidence in this case, but I'm going to try not to beat myself up about it. More on this in my reply to Roberta.

Roberta, thank you so much and big hugs to you too, you really warmed my heart! Honestly, maybe you're right, I didn't think of it that way. I guess I'll put it this way...if I had said something and prevented it from happening, of course I would be patting myself on the back. The main reason it alarmed me was that terrible feeling that I was supposed to have stopped it and didn't. I remember you saying how people go through their life reviews and regret not helping others. I will admit that the experience itself did upset me a bit, and the reason I don't think of it as a coincidence is how distinct it was. It happened twice and both times it was kind of this weird feeling in my left eye, followed shortly by these thoughts of it being injured somehow, then followed by the thought that this could be some kind of a warning. The second time, I was about to eat something and this vague yet unpleasant thought of being stabbed in the left eye with my fork came over me. So while it wasn't exactly pleasant, if this kind of thing continued I think I would like it if it meant I could help other people in some way, or help myself. Usually my spirit guides are much more subtle so I just didn't pay much heed to it.

But thank you so much, and thank you Richard, I doubt that I'll stay away very long to be honest. In fact I probably won't leave per se, I think I just want to be an observer/lurker for the time being. You've all been so nice here and I of course haven't lost interest in this stuff. And I definitely won't stop sharing my beliefs when I get the chances to, Roberta. I have your book and I'm hoping to let as many people borrow it as possible, especially when their times come.

Well, I still don't know the outcome and am praying for the best but thank you all for helping me forgive myself. There is still a twinge of guilt, but not as bad as it was last night and I'm hoping it'll fade in time.

[RudeAwakening]

You need to live your life Annie. Don’t take on too much too soon. Follow your instincts.The older loved ones in your life are grateful for your awareness; don’t try to be everything for them, that’s not necessary. Most at your age can barely comprehend of any of it. Take care of yourself and be a young lady and grow at your own pace.


Edit: And it's also not possible my friend. So much going on for all of us now. Just stay strong and be in the moment.

[Annie]

Thanks Awakening, you're right. I see now that I couldn't have really done anything, especially after my mom pointed out that my grandma had her eyes checked two months ago and was fine, which I'm pretty sure is what she would've said to me if I tried to warn her about anything. :) I'm just trying to kind of stay positive and focus on the good things in life.